Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, how to educate children is a trendy question. While some people are of the opinion that children have to compete, in order to become more successful, others feel that teamwork and cooperation are key. In this essay, both sides of this debate will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
On the one hand, those people who believe that competitiveness is beneficial might argue that it helps to do your best in the studies and later at working. For instance, many basketball players in the USA were highly encouraged to compete in their childhood by their parents. This example shows how some people feel that compete will lead to become more successful. Thus, it is understandable why this point of view has garnered support.
On the other hand, many people find co-operation and teamwork much useful, hence, they would teach these values to their children. For example, one person may not be able to solve a math problem, but two or three people might be. In addition, children will gain better social skills, such as communication or empathy. When looking at this example, there is no doubt that work together poses benefits for the society. From this, it can be concluded that teach children how to work has positive ramifications.
After analyzing both sides, I would say that teach how to co-operate is crucial, and it has more benefits than teach competitiveness. Therefore, if we continue to promote and encourage a teamwork behavior, we will have a better society in the future.
Which band d you think I will get with this essay? Thank you in advance!
Please evaluate my essay
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sherielyn01
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- Joined: Sun Nov 24, 2013 9:20 am
Re: Please evaluate my essay
Essay structure is good with some grammar errors. I am not really good in evaluating but I think this can score near 7.
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masimshehzad
- Posts: 44
- Joined: Sun Nov 24, 2013 7:57 am
Re: Please evaluate my essay
My opinion is same as above.
I am posting my written essay on above topic.
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some phases of life demand children have sense of competition while some demand them develop a sense of cooperate to stay competent. Sports and Educations life demand one mix of both while professional career demand a sense of cooperation.
Sports is a field that demand a mix of sense of competition and cooperation because your competency depends totally on your practice, focus and interaction with other sports people. More you have sense of competition, more you will practice and higher you will rise. Better focus you have, better stamina you build and longer way you go. Best connected you are and best team player you will be so sense of cooperation matters here. In short, sports success depend on your sense of competition that drive other success ingredients.
Success in educations depends on focus, care of one’s professional interests and persistence.
More a child focus, higher score he get and this focus get fuel from sense of competition. More he care for his professional dream to become a doctor or engineers, more he focus and higher he rise so sense of cooperation matters here.Persistance is something that get keep ignited with increasing competition. So, success in education demand a mix of both.
Professional career demand only a sense of cooperation because interests and desired outcome are totally unique in this phase of the life. Your success is purely driven by need for money, personal unique professional interest and self interest in your area of field. Focusing on how other are doing is useless as you can’t compare these unique things with others.
To recap, I would say educational and sports phases of a child education is a mix of both while professional success depends on later one.
I am posting my written essay on above topic.
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some phases of life demand children have sense of competition while some demand them develop a sense of cooperate to stay competent. Sports and Educations life demand one mix of both while professional career demand a sense of cooperation.
Sports is a field that demand a mix of sense of competition and cooperation because your competency depends totally on your practice, focus and interaction with other sports people. More you have sense of competition, more you will practice and higher you will rise. Better focus you have, better stamina you build and longer way you go. Best connected you are and best team player you will be so sense of cooperation matters here. In short, sports success depend on your sense of competition that drive other success ingredients.
Success in educations depends on focus, care of one’s professional interests and persistence.
More a child focus, higher score he get and this focus get fuel from sense of competition. More he care for his professional dream to become a doctor or engineers, more he focus and higher he rise so sense of cooperation matters here.Persistance is something that get keep ignited with increasing competition. So, success in education demand a mix of both.
Professional career demand only a sense of cooperation because interests and desired outcome are totally unique in this phase of the life. Your success is purely driven by need for money, personal unique professional interest and self interest in your area of field. Focusing on how other are doing is useless as you can’t compare these unique things with others.
To recap, I would say educational and sports phases of a child education is a mix of both while professional success depends on later one.
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Atiqur786rasel
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:25 pm
Re: Please evaluate my essay
Hi, I am Atiqur Rahman Rasel..Could someone , experienced , help me by correcting & scoring my following IELTS academic task 2 ?
WRITING TASK 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material
possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem
important.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
The world is being changed. The one who are changing the world are humans. They are changing the world in many different ways. But they are also changing themselves in noticeable ways.Humans are having change in their morals,personalities, even in natures . Today , people view and distinguish others by their social status and possessions having forgotten the true values of human such as, honour , kindness and trust . In this essay , I will write in agreement with the opinion stated above .
First of all, humans are natural being . They are rational , creative & social . They have been created to be adaptive . That is why ,humans are forgetting old views & living with the new ones . Strangely enough , nowadays when you go to a village , you can see that if there is any person with most of the assets , that person is respected all over the village .A quintessence from my own village can be given here . Our so-called honorable chairman is a man with no honour let alone kindness . But he owns most of the lands of our villages . So , the villagers have to respect him . Though the villagers respect him on the outside , they resent him in the inside .
Furthermore , many people , though rich , intend to serve richer people than them as a base for their security .It is very natural for those people because you cannot live alone in the midst of a den being a frightened rabbit . To survive , you have to live along with other ferocious animals being nice . Another point can be made from today’s politics in Bangladesh .The people in authority are actually given authority because of tremendous amount of money or assets .They seem to have no eligibility at all. They don’t have any kindness at all . They are not trustworthy too.
In addition , young people with great talent , nowadays don’t get good jobs . Even if they possess unique qualities like kindness & truthfulness , they get rejected . It is because they don’t have any money or authority . A recent quintessence is perfect here . One of my cousins went to have a interview for a prestigious job recently . At one point , after being selected in the interview , the company asked for about 1 million taka in exchange of the job . So my cousin came back home being annoyed with himself . Because he had not enough money.
In conclusion , it is evident that , almost in every fields of life, old-fashioned values are not respected at all . People are revered just because of status and possessions such as money , assets etc. This will probably remain the same in future . Because , it is no longer needed for people to keep “Old” in their dictionary .
WRITING TASK 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material
possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem
important.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
The world is being changed. The one who are changing the world are humans. They are changing the world in many different ways. But they are also changing themselves in noticeable ways.Humans are having change in their morals,personalities, even in natures . Today , people view and distinguish others by their social status and possessions having forgotten the true values of human such as, honour , kindness and trust . In this essay , I will write in agreement with the opinion stated above .
First of all, humans are natural being . They are rational , creative & social . They have been created to be adaptive . That is why ,humans are forgetting old views & living with the new ones . Strangely enough , nowadays when you go to a village , you can see that if there is any person with most of the assets , that person is respected all over the village .A quintessence from my own village can be given here . Our so-called honorable chairman is a man with no honour let alone kindness . But he owns most of the lands of our villages . So , the villagers have to respect him . Though the villagers respect him on the outside , they resent him in the inside .
Furthermore , many people , though rich , intend to serve richer people than them as a base for their security .It is very natural for those people because you cannot live alone in the midst of a den being a frightened rabbit . To survive , you have to live along with other ferocious animals being nice . Another point can be made from today’s politics in Bangladesh .The people in authority are actually given authority because of tremendous amount of money or assets .They seem to have no eligibility at all. They don’t have any kindness at all . They are not trustworthy too.
In addition , young people with great talent , nowadays don’t get good jobs . Even if they possess unique qualities like kindness & truthfulness , they get rejected . It is because they don’t have any money or authority . A recent quintessence is perfect here . One of my cousins went to have a interview for a prestigious job recently . At one point , after being selected in the interview , the company asked for about 1 million taka in exchange of the job . So my cousin came back home being annoyed with himself . Because he had not enough money.
In conclusion , it is evident that , almost in every fields of life, old-fashioned values are not respected at all . People are revered just because of status and possessions such as money , assets etc. This will probably remain the same in future . Because , it is no longer needed for people to keep “Old” in their dictionary .