A band score 8 or 9 essay up for discussion.

[Johnson zhang]

Written by Dominic Cole

I tried to find out why this one is band 9 worthy.

Almost everyone agrees that we should be training children to recycle waste to save the Earth’s natural resources. Some believe that it is parents who should teach their children to recycle waste. Others argue that school is the best place to teach do this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Most people would agree that young people need to be taught about the importance of recycling waste products and packaging(referring to the background of the question). There is a difference of opinion, however, whether this should happen at home or in schools.(re-stating the question) In this essay, I will examine both points of view and then state my opinion.

The argument in favour of teaching children at school about recycling is largely based around the idea that schools and other educational establishments are the best environment for training children. (opinion 1)This is because teachers have a natural authority over their pupils who are used to learning from them. Additionally, the need for recycling could easily be included in biology and geography classess. (opinion 2)

There are two main reasons why people think parents taking responsibility for this training could be more effective. The first is that the majority of recycling takes place in the home and parents can therefore more easily control the recycling habits of their children.(opinion 3) If, for example, parents see their child put a recyclable bottle in the wrong bin, they can explain that it needs to go in another bin. The other very practical point is that often children spend more time at home than at school and so parents may have more effect.(opinion 4)

My own view is that the best solution is for children to learn about recycling both at home and at school. In this way, they would learn about both the theory and the practice.
(277 words)


-------


I think first the essay is good because it just flows. It is effortless to read it even for some one who isn't too good with English.

the structure is very clear. Following a beautiful intro, two main paras addressed both sides of the topic.

of course the vocab is spot on and grammar is prefect.

mostly importantly, it delivers exactly what the question asks. I think this is vital in ielts success. I see myself and so many other candidates trying hard to please the examiner but have failed to understand the importance of "task response."

overall, this essay is very simple, very clean and says exactly what the writer thinks, and of course fully answers the question.

A bit of extra notes. at times, I felt I was giving a 'ground-breaking' point but only later realised it wasn't sticking to the rest of the essay. Pity as it was, i had to chunk it.

------

What do you think of this essay?


.