children should teach by teacher while others believe that c

[rakez]

Hi Mr.Ryan and everyone, i require a band score 7.Please comment on my writing task 2 and provide the feedback for the below essay.

Topic: Some people believe that children should teach by teacher while others believe that computer and internet is best way for children to teach? Do you agree?

Answer: Children learn their basics in school by the teachers. But in the present days the advancement of technology, few children feel that teaching with computer is the best way. This can be further discussed in the upcoming paragraph.
In countries like India, teachers are given equal importance with God. They help the teachers to travel in correct path till their carrier success, by correcting the mistakes as well as shaping the characters of pupil. Teachers are quite helpful in maintaining clarity and sharing the knowledgeable facts with kids in subject matters through adopting various approaches and techniques. In fact, teachers are always on the upper hand in explaining the practical methods and realistic way of teaching the respective subjects from the centuries. Teaching in school creates a platform for social interaction between student and a teacher with rest of children, enables the enthusiasm among the student and encourages the healthy competitiveness spirit. Moreover, the student can benefit by extracting the more in depth knowledge and clarify the doubts with an ease with teacher’s advice.
On the other hand, computers can only teach the unknown facts and latest knowledge but cannot the develop and promote the analytical thinking in the minds of children. However, these computers are truly mechanical and fail to crosscheck the output produced by the student. Teaching methods proposed by internet are quite mechanical and unpractical way of learning for the students in the early beginning stage of their education. Nevertheless, they are only reliable on the matter of accuracy data, not for the effective way of learning.
In conclusion, I do not agree with the computer and internet is the best way of teaching in schools.It is also proved that computer teaching in unrealistic approach and cannot develop the logical and analytical methods of teaching.

[khulan_8824]

Several errors in your essay (grammatically). Some ideas are not clear. Sentence with God is not clear what are you trying to say and how does it relate with the technology taking over teacher.

[rakez]

Thank you khulan. i will rewrite the essay and try to correct my mistakes.What can be the approximate band score, please mention.

[holymanbinny]

5.5-6

[Flick]

Topic: Some people believe that children should teach by teacher while others believe that computer and internet is best way for children to teach? Do you agree?

Answer: Children learn their basics in school by the teachers. (<--Reword to: "Children are taught basic education in school by teachers.")But in the present days the advancement of technology, few children feel that teaching with computer is the best way. (<--Reword to: "Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, some feel that using computers to teach children is best.") This will be further discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.

In countries like India, teachers are given equal importance with God. They help the students to travel the correct path for a successful career by correcting mistakes as well as shaping the characters of the pupils. Teachers are quite helpful in maintaining clarity and sharing knowledge with children through a variety of approaches and techniques. In fact, teachers always have /color] the upper hand in explaining practical methods andusing a realistic way of teaching the respective subjects. Teaching in school creates a platform for social interaction between student and teacher, enables enthusiasm among the students and encourages a healthy, competitive spirit. Moreover, the student can benefit by extracting more in-depth knowledge and clarify doubts with ease with the teacher’s advice.

On the other hand, computers can only teach facts and latest knowledge but cannot develop and promote analytical thinking in the minds of children. However, computers are truly mechanical and fail to crosscheck the output produced by the student. Teaching methods such as using the internet are quite mechanical and an unpractical way of learning for the students in the early stages of their education. Nevertheless, they are only reliable in the matter of accurate data, not for an effective way of learning.

In conclusion, I do not agree that computers and the internet are the best way of teaching in schools. It is also proved that computer teaching is an unrealistic approach and cannot develop the logical and analytical skills of students.

[JamesStanley]

I think teachers are the best source to teach children. Internet and computers are also good but manual knowledge and education matters a lot. For this purpose I had enrolled my kids to long island day care centre, so that can learn and gain knowledge from teachers as well as other students.