Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others however, believe individuals can also do something to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, world is facing different environmental challenges. Due to the ultra-scale of some of these problems, many people believe nothing can be done while others think these issues can be tackled to some extent, at individual levels. This essay will analyze both these points of view before drawing a personal opinion.
It is undeniable that some natural problems such as rising levels of sea water and super-scale solar storms leave little to no room for humans to take corrective measures. For example, rising out from the core of the sun, a super solar-storm can produce massive electromagnetic waves which might shutdown the whole communication system on the earth in a fraction of a second, and also these waves can destroy the protective ozone layer, putting life on the earth in extreme danger. These situations are of super-scale where individuals have nothing to do. This clearly shows why many people support the notion that the environment can create problems where we are not capable of finding solution for.
However, there are some prolonged natural problems where most people can take action to rectify. For instance, while many cities, especially where the density of toxic gasses in the atmosphere is high, suffer due to polluted air, introduction of electric and hybrid vehicles seems to has produced positive results in tackling the problem, and last but not least, if people can cultivate trees on their own lands, it would greatly help to improve the condition of air. As this proves, there is significant amount of actions which can be taken by each of us in solving several ecological imbalances which are more relevant and frequent.
In conclusion, after analysing both sides of this argument, it is felt, though there are some extreme situations where we are answerless, still we have plenty of issues to be handled on our own.
IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attempt 6
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charles205
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charles205
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 3:18 pm
Re: IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attemp
Please evaluate my essay
Re: IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attemp
So what is your suggestion make it a bit more informative and don't use commas in between your sentences , I was unable to understand what message you want to put through by using these unnecessary comma's.charles205 wrote:Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others however, believe individuals can also do something to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, world is facing different environmental challenges. Due to the ultra-scale of some of these problems (REWORD IT: IT SEEMS CONFUSING), many people believe THAT nothing can be done while others think THAT these issues can be tackled to some extent, at individual levels (FROM AN INDIVIDUAL'S PERSPECTIVE). This essay will analyze both these points of view before drawing a personal opinion. (intro seems a bit unclear.. some sentences are hard to understand)
It is undeniable that, some natural problems such as rising levels of sea water and super-scale solar storms leave little to no room for humans to take corrective measures. For example, rising out from the core of the sun, a super solar-storm can produce massive electromagnetic waves which might shutdown the whole communication system on the earth in a fraction of a second, and also these waves can destroy the protective ozone layer, putting life on the earth in extreme danger. These situations are of super-scale where individuals have nothing to do. This clearly shows why many people support the notion that the environment can create problems where we are not capable of finding solution for. ( I got what you are saying but make your sentences short and use linking words such as Moreover, Additionally, furthermore, as a consequence)
However, there are some prolonged natural problems where most people can take action to rectify. For instance, while many cities (no need to use while), especially where the density of toxic gasses in the atmosphere is high, suffer due to polluted air, introduction of electric and hybrid vehicles seems to has produced positive results in tackling the problem, and last but not least, if people can cultivate trees on their own lands, it would greatly help to improve the condition of air. As this proves, there is significant amount of actions which can be taken by each of us in solving several ecological imbalances which are more relevant and frequent. (Make your sentences short and succinct and please use linking words and good amount of vocabulary)
In conclusion, after analysing both sides of this argument, it is felt, though there are some extreme situations where we are answerless, still we have plenty of issues to be handled on our own.
Hi,
Writeup is fine but lacks many aspects such as linking words, cohesion and logical development.. I am not an examiner but this writeup won't fetch more than a 5.5.
Argho
Re: IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attemp
charles205 wrote:Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others however, believe individuals can also do something to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, the world is facing several environmental challenges. Due to the ultra-scale of some of these problems, many people believe nothing can be done while others think these issues can be tackled to some extent, at an individual level. This essay will analyze both these points of view before drawing a personal opinion.
It is undeniable that some natural problems such as rising levels of sea water and super-scale solar storms leave little to no room for humans to take corrective measures. For example, rising out from the core of the sun, a super solar storm can produce massive electromagnetic waves which might shutdown the whole communication system on Earth in a fraction of a second, and these waves can also destroy the protective ozone layer, putting life on Earth in extreme danger. These situations are of super-scale, which humans cannot affect. This clearly shows why many people support the notion that the environment can create problems which we are not capable of finding solutions for.
However, there are some prolonged natural problems most people can take action to rectify. For instance, while many cities, especially where the density of toxic gasses in the atmosphere is high, suffer due to polluted air, the introduction of electric and hybrid vehicles seems to have produced positive results in tackling the problem. Moreover, if people can cultivate trees on their own land, it would greatly help to improve the condition of the atmospere. As this proves, there is a significant amount of actions which can be taken by each of us in solving several ecological imbalances which are more relevant and frequent.
In conclusion, after analysing both sides of this argument, it is felt, though there are some extreme situations where we are answerless, there are plenty of issues to be handled on our own.