IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attempt 7

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charles205
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Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 3:18 pm

IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attempt 7

Post by charles205 »

Some people think that job satisfaction is important than Job security while some think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The supply-demand driven social system we have today requires almost all of us to be employed to lead a life funded by our own. While the important parameter of an employment selection could be varied depending on personal preference, there are some people who think it is the engagement with a job which is satisfying, and on the other hand, others think it is a much more secure job which is required. This essay will discuss both these camps before drawing a personal opinion.

It is undeniable that satisfaction is the key in keeping the momentum and achieving higher results in many endeavours. It is the employee satisfaction that is considered as more important in building high performing individuals as well as organizations in this industrial world as elaborated in many management teachings and principles. For example, the blue-chip company in software industry, “Microsoft” highly encourages the satisfaction of its employees than any other pointed out in the “500 fortune companies” issue of October 2015. Thus, it is clear why some supports the notion of job satisfaction being the utmost important of all.

However, the supporter of the notion that a secure job being the most important argue that such a job can leads towards satisfaction naturally. After and employee is given the assurance of security of his employment, he can better concentrate on the job and this would results in higher performance and achievement, as mental well-being helps the success of any other engagement. If this is not available, hardly there can be a satisfied employee either. It could be the reason why this ideology also has garnered support as well.

In conclusion, there seems to be strong points for both job satisfaction as well as job security being the most important criterion in job selection. After analysing both view points, my personal sentiments would be it is a secure job which gives more satisfaction than other, as this helps not only the individuals but also the firms in the long run, so it is recommended that all should pay attention in designing and creating more secure job opportunities.
argho1985
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 4:31 am

Re: IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attemp

Post by argho1985 »

charles205 wrote:Some people think that job satisfaction is important than Job security while some think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The supply-demand driven social system we have today requires almost all of us to be employed to lead a life funded by our own. While the important parameter of an employment selection could be varied depending on personal preference, there are some people who think it is the engagement with a job which is satisfying, and on the other hand, others think it is a much more secure job which is required. This essay will discuss both these camps before drawing a personal opinion.

It is undeniable that satisfaction is the key in keeping the momentum and achieving higher results in many endeavours. It is the employee satisfaction that is considered as more important in building high performing individuals as well as organizations in this industrial world as elaborated in many management teachings and principles. For example, the blue-chip company in software industry, “Microsoft” highly encourages the satisfaction of its employees than any other pointed out in the “500 fortune companies” issue of October 2015. Thus, it is clear why some supports the notion of job satisfaction being the utmost important of all.

However, the supporter of the notion that a secure job being the most important argue that such a job can leads towards satisfaction naturally. After and employee is given the assurance of security of his employment, he can better concentrate on the job and this would results in higher performance and achievement, as mental well-being helps the success of any other engagement. If this is not available, hardly there can be a satisfied employee either. It could be the reason why this ideology also has garnered support as well.

In conclusion, there seems to be strong points for both job satisfaction as well as job security being the most important criterion in job selection. After analysing both view points, my personal sentiments would be it is a secure job which gives more satisfaction than other, as this helps not only the individuals but also the firms in the long run, so it is recommended that all should pay attention in designing and creating more secure job opportunities.

Hi,

Impressive essay, however introduction is not clear may be some sentences need to be revised. Also, some places the grammar is also not proper.

Argho
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Flick
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Re: IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attemp

Post by Flick »

charles205 wrote:Some people think that job satisfaction is important than Job security while some think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The supply-demand driven social system we have today requires almost all of us to be employed to lead a life independently funded. While the important parameter of employment selection could be varied depending on personal preference, there are some people who think it is the engagement within a job which is satisfying, while others think a secure job is more important. This essay will discuss both these opinions before drawing a personal opinion.

It is undeniable that satisfaction is the key in maintaining momentum and achieving higher results in many endeavours. It is employee satisfaction that is considered as more important in building high performing individuals as well as organizations in this industrial world as elaborated on in many management teachings and principles. For example, the blue-chip company in software, Microsoft, highly encourages the satisfaction of its employees more than any otheras stated in the 500 fortune companies issue of October 2015. Thus, it is clear why some support the notion of job satisfaction being of the utmost importance.

However, supporters of the notion that a secure job is the most important argue that such a job can lead to satisfaction naturally. After an employee is given the assurance of security of his employment, he can better concentrate on the job and this would result in higher performance and achievement, as mental well-being helps the success of any other engagement. If this is not available, it is unlikely the employee will be satisfied, either. This could be the reason why this ideology also has garnered support as well.

In conclusion, there seems to be strong arguments for both job satisfaction as well as job security being the most important criterion in job selection. After analysing both viewpoints, my personal sentiments would be it is a secure job which gives more satisfaction, as this helps not only the individual but also the firm in the long run, so it is recommended that all should pay attention in designing and creating more secure job opportunities.
CristiLeinen1
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2014 2:45 am

Re: IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attemp

Post by CristiLeinen1 »

If there need any security inspection, then you can come to look at this security x ray scanner,it's high quality and powerful function, what's more,it's harmless to people.
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