Please give an opinion:
TASK 2:
Action movies with spectacular car chases are very popular with young people. It is often said that these sorts of movies lead to an increase in car accidents among young drivers as they try to copy what they have seen in the films.
Do you agree that such movies increase the amount of bad driving? What can be done to encourage young people to drive more safely?
ASSAY:
In the last decade many famous movies about car chases has been created, and always more often they are an attraction for youngest people.
Unfortunately there is still a big number of people, mostly belonging to the old generation, who think that this kind of movies brings new drivers to imitate them, and that this movies are cause of many car accidents among young people.
In my opinion, this is not the case as even in people between 40 and 50 years old the percentage of car accident is very high.
Dispite some people say that youngest don't have enough experience to drive or they do not respect the road rules we should think in contrast of this tough, as the more they can drive then more experience they can learn.
Foremost, how could a young guy get access to a hundred thousands dollars car and run on the road ad 200 Mph? Well, he does not. That kind of cars shown in that movies are to expensive for a young guy who just got his diving licence.
In addiction, is even wrong when people says that accident often seen as characters just young people. In fact, the last Road Accident Statistic underline how in the big cities the average age of people involved in car accidents is between 40 and 50 years old.
In the other hand, there is also a threefold reason why youngest are better drivers the elderly people.
Firstly, their mind is more reactive and this make youngest more aware to any hazards. Secondly, their young age involves a fast learning in how to drive, and also they always more often take parts in safety drive course.
In help to this, the appropriate institutions are opening their doors to the new drivers giving them access to any updated information, even using the most recent technologies such as the Internet, E-books and media. Thanks to this, the new drivers generation are always more involved in respecting road rules and speed limits.
In conclusion, I have to restate my disagreement in what some people says against car chases movies, because they by themselves cannot be considerate the cause to increase in car accidents.
As shown in this assay, the main interested institutions are moving towards an always better system of road education to avoid car accidents and problems related to them.
IELTS TEST IN 2 DAYS!! Just an opinion PLEASE!
Re: IELTS TEST IN 2 DAYS!! Just an opinion PLEASE!
Interesting forum... nobody answer... O.o
-
tulusin1922
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:31 pm
Re: IELTS TEST IN 2 DAYS!! Just an opinion PLEASE!
Hi!
Overall, the main idea of your essay is understandable. However, your essay lacks consistency and coherence, also there are many spelling mistakes.
These are some suggestions, compare both your original essay with this, the main idea remains but the words are different. This is quite important if you are taking the academic module.
---
-> Action movies with spectacular car chases are very popular with young people. It is often said that these sorts of movies lead to an increase in car accidents among young drivers as they try to copy what they have seen in the films.
Do you agree that such movies increase the amount of bad driving? What can be done to encourage young people to drive more safely?
ESSAY
In the last decade many famous movies about car CRASHES HAVE been created, USUALLY AS AN ATTRACTION FOR YOUNG AUDIENCES.
Unfortunately MANY PEOPLE, SPECIALLY THOSE WHO BELONG TO OLDER GENERATIONS, BELIEVE that this movies
INCITE young drivers to IMITATE THE MOVIE'S SCENES, A PRACTICE THAT EVENTUALLY LEADS TO DISASTROUS ROAD ACCIDENTS. HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THAT IS OPINION IS SOMEWHAT MISLEADING, SINCE YOUNG PEOPLE ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WHO CAUSE ROAD ACCIDENTS. IN FACT, RECENT STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT THE PERCENTAGE OF ROAD ACCIDENTS IS HIGHER in people between 40 and 50 years old. (Concerning the "recent studies" part, it's OK to lie. The importan thing is to support your reason)
DESPITE THIS FACTS, some people say that THE young DO NOT have enough experience to drive BECAUSE they do not respect road rules. NEVERTHLESS, IN CONTRAST WITH this TOUGHT WE SHOULD CONSIDER THAT THE ONLY WAY FOR A PERSON TO GAIN EXPERIENCIE IN THE ROAD IS BY DRIVING AND YOUNG PEOPLE ARE NO EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE, THEREFORE IF WE WANT THEM TO DRIVE PROPERLY WE SHOULD TEACH THEM IN THE RIGHT WAY.
Foremost, how could a young guy get access to a hundred THOUSAND dollars car and HIT the road at 200 Mph? ( Well, he does not. That kind of cars shown in that movies are to expensive for a young guy who just got his diving license. (This reason is really weak. If you think about it well, it's improbable, but not impossible. ¿What about rich youngsters? They actually do this, but still they are a minority. However, the problem here is that you are denying this fact CATEGORICALLY. Consider this: FOREMOST, THE CARS USED IN ACTION MOVIES ARE EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE AND THEREFORE NOT ACCESIBLE TO EVERYONE, LEAST TO THE MAJORITY OF YOUNG PEOPLE WHO HAD JUST GOT THEIR DRIVING PERMIT)
In addiction, is even wrong when people says that accident often seen as characters just young people. In fact, the last Road Accident Statistic underline how in the big cities the average age of people involved in car accidents is between 40 and 50 years old. (You already mentioned this fact above, there is no need to repeat it)
ON the other hand, NOT ONLY I BELIEVE THAT MOVIES DO NOT INFLUENCE THE WAY YOUNG PEOPLE DRIVE BUT ALSO THEY ARE, IN FACT, BETTER DRIVERS. FIRST, their mind is more reactive, THEREFORE this MAKES them more AWARE OF hazards. Secondly, BECAUSE of their age, their LEARNING ABILITIES ARE MORE DEVELOPED THAN THOSE OF OLDER PEOPLE, ENABLING THEM TO BECOME FAST LEARNERS. Also, they ARE more RECEPTIVE TO SAFETY DRIVING COURSES.
IN ORDER TO HELP THIS NEW DRIVERS, the appropriate institutions are opening their doors FOR giving them access to updated information, WHICH INCLUDES THE USE OF recent technologies such as Internet, e-books and media. Thanks to this, the new GENERATION OF DRIVERS IS more MOTIVATED to respect road rules and speed limits.
TO CONCLUDE, I WANT to restate my disagreement ABOUT what some people EXPRESS against car chase movies AND THEIR INFLUENCE IN YOUNG PEOPLE DRIVING HABITS, because AS I STATE ABOVE, MOVIES CAN NOT BE CONSIDERED THE MAIN CAUSE OF THE INCREMENT OF ROAD ACCIDENTS.
....
My conclusion:
- Divide your essay in clear paragraphs,
- Use transitions (On the other hand, However, Nevertheless, etc. etc.) but only when needed and IF it is needed.
- Don't use contractions (Like Don't! Use do not. Is not, There is, and so far)
- Vary your vocabulary. Use synonyms, try not to repeat the same word in the same paragraph, that makes the text sound robotic
- Don't repeat your ideas. If you have already stated that "pollution is a risk to environment because it causes global warming" in your introduction, then don't repeat the statement in the body as if you have never mentioned it. WHAT YOU CAN DO IS RETAKE AN ALREADY STATED IDEA IN ORDER TO INTRODUCE A NEW ONE. Following the previous example, you can state that "due to global warming, caused by pollution, we are experiencing serious changes in global weather"
What score are you aiming? I'm no expert but you need to work in your coherence and consistency ASAP
[/i]
Overall, the main idea of your essay is understandable. However, your essay lacks consistency and coherence, also there are many spelling mistakes.
These are some suggestions, compare both your original essay with this, the main idea remains but the words are different. This is quite important if you are taking the academic module.
---
-> Action movies with spectacular car chases are very popular with young people. It is often said that these sorts of movies lead to an increase in car accidents among young drivers as they try to copy what they have seen in the films.
Do you agree that such movies increase the amount of bad driving? What can be done to encourage young people to drive more safely?
ESSAY
In the last decade many famous movies about car CRASHES HAVE been created, USUALLY AS AN ATTRACTION FOR YOUNG AUDIENCES.
Unfortunately MANY PEOPLE, SPECIALLY THOSE WHO BELONG TO OLDER GENERATIONS, BELIEVE that this movies
INCITE young drivers to IMITATE THE MOVIE'S SCENES, A PRACTICE THAT EVENTUALLY LEADS TO DISASTROUS ROAD ACCIDENTS. HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THAT IS OPINION IS SOMEWHAT MISLEADING, SINCE YOUNG PEOPLE ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WHO CAUSE ROAD ACCIDENTS. IN FACT, RECENT STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT THE PERCENTAGE OF ROAD ACCIDENTS IS HIGHER in people between 40 and 50 years old. (Concerning the "recent studies" part, it's OK to lie. The importan thing is to support your reason)
DESPITE THIS FACTS, some people say that THE young DO NOT have enough experience to drive BECAUSE they do not respect road rules. NEVERTHLESS, IN CONTRAST WITH this TOUGHT WE SHOULD CONSIDER THAT THE ONLY WAY FOR A PERSON TO GAIN EXPERIENCIE IN THE ROAD IS BY DRIVING AND YOUNG PEOPLE ARE NO EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE, THEREFORE IF WE WANT THEM TO DRIVE PROPERLY WE SHOULD TEACH THEM IN THE RIGHT WAY.
Foremost, how could a young guy get access to a hundred THOUSAND dollars car and HIT the road at 200 Mph? ( Well, he does not. That kind of cars shown in that movies are to expensive for a young guy who just got his diving license. (This reason is really weak. If you think about it well, it's improbable, but not impossible. ¿What about rich youngsters? They actually do this, but still they are a minority. However, the problem here is that you are denying this fact CATEGORICALLY. Consider this: FOREMOST, THE CARS USED IN ACTION MOVIES ARE EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE AND THEREFORE NOT ACCESIBLE TO EVERYONE, LEAST TO THE MAJORITY OF YOUNG PEOPLE WHO HAD JUST GOT THEIR DRIVING PERMIT)
In addiction, is even wrong when people says that accident often seen as characters just young people. In fact, the last Road Accident Statistic underline how in the big cities the average age of people involved in car accidents is between 40 and 50 years old. (You already mentioned this fact above, there is no need to repeat it)
ON the other hand, NOT ONLY I BELIEVE THAT MOVIES DO NOT INFLUENCE THE WAY YOUNG PEOPLE DRIVE BUT ALSO THEY ARE, IN FACT, BETTER DRIVERS. FIRST, their mind is more reactive, THEREFORE this MAKES them more AWARE OF hazards. Secondly, BECAUSE of their age, their LEARNING ABILITIES ARE MORE DEVELOPED THAN THOSE OF OLDER PEOPLE, ENABLING THEM TO BECOME FAST LEARNERS. Also, they ARE more RECEPTIVE TO SAFETY DRIVING COURSES.
IN ORDER TO HELP THIS NEW DRIVERS, the appropriate institutions are opening their doors FOR giving them access to updated information, WHICH INCLUDES THE USE OF recent technologies such as Internet, e-books and media. Thanks to this, the new GENERATION OF DRIVERS IS more MOTIVATED to respect road rules and speed limits.
TO CONCLUDE, I WANT to restate my disagreement ABOUT what some people EXPRESS against car chase movies AND THEIR INFLUENCE IN YOUNG PEOPLE DRIVING HABITS, because AS I STATE ABOVE, MOVIES CAN NOT BE CONSIDERED THE MAIN CAUSE OF THE INCREMENT OF ROAD ACCIDENTS.
....
My conclusion:
- Divide your essay in clear paragraphs,
- Use transitions (On the other hand, However, Nevertheless, etc. etc.) but only when needed and IF it is needed.
- Don't use contractions (Like Don't! Use do not. Is not, There is, and so far)
- Vary your vocabulary. Use synonyms, try not to repeat the same word in the same paragraph, that makes the text sound robotic
- Don't repeat your ideas. If you have already stated that "pollution is a risk to environment because it causes global warming" in your introduction, then don't repeat the statement in the body as if you have never mentioned it. WHAT YOU CAN DO IS RETAKE AN ALREADY STATED IDEA IN ORDER TO INTRODUCE A NEW ONE. Following the previous example, you can state that "due to global warming, caused by pollution, we are experiencing serious changes in global weather"
What score are you aiming? I'm no expert but you need to work in your coherence and consistency ASAP
[/i]
Re: IELTS TEST IN 2 DAYS!! Just an opinion PLEASE!
tulusin1922 wrote:Hi!
Overall, the main idea of your essay is understandable. However, your essay lacks consistency and coherence, also there are many spelling mistakes.
These are some suggestions, compare both your original essay with this, the main idea remains but the words are different. This is quite important if you are taking the academic module.
---
-> Action movies with spectacular car chases are very popular with young people. It is often said that these sorts of movies lead to an increase in car accidents among young drivers as they try to copy what they have seen in the films.
Do you agree that such movies increase the amount of bad driving? What can be done to encourage young people to drive more safely?
ESSAY
In the last decade many famous movies about car CRASHES HAVE been created, USUALLY AS AN ATTRACTION FOR YOUNG AUDIENCES.
Unfortunately MANY PEOPLE, SPECIALLY THOSE WHO BELONG TO OLDER GENERATIONS, BELIEVE that this movies
INCITE young drivers to IMITATE THE MOVIE'S SCENES, A PRACTICE THAT EVENTUALLY LEADS TO DISASTROUS ROAD ACCIDENTS. HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THAT IS OPINION IS SOMEWHAT MISLEADING, SINCE YOUNG PEOPLE ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WHO CAUSE ROAD ACCIDENTS. IN FACT, RECENT STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT THE PERCENTAGE OF ROAD ACCIDENTS IS HIGHER in people between 40 and 50 years old. (Concerning the "recent studies" part, it's OK to lie. The importan thing is to support your reason)
DESPITE THIS FACTS, some people say that THE young DO NOT have enough experience to drive BECAUSE they do not respect road rules. NEVERTHLESS, IN CONTRAST WITH this TOUGHT WE SHOULD CONSIDER THAT THE ONLY WAY FOR A PERSON TO GAIN EXPERIENCIE IN THE ROAD IS BY DRIVING AND YOUNG PEOPLE ARE NO EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE, THEREFORE IF WE WANT THEM TO DRIVE PROPERLY WE SHOULD TEACH THEM IN THE RIGHT WAY.
Foremost, how could a young guy get access to a hundred THOUSAND dollars car and HIT the road at 200 Mph? ( Well, he does not. That kind of cars shown in that movies are to expensive for a young guy who just got his diving license. (This reason is really weak. If you think about it well, it's improbable, but not impossible. ¿What about rich youngsters? They actually do this, but still they are a minority. However, the problem here is that you are denying this fact CATEGORICALLY. Consider this: FOREMOST, THE CARS USED IN ACTION MOVIES ARE EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE AND THEREFORE NOT ACCESIBLE TO EVERYONE, LEAST TO THE MAJORITY OF YOUNG PEOPLE WHO HAD JUST GOT THEIR DRIVING PERMIT)
In addiction, is even wrong when people says that accident often seen as characters just young people. In fact, the last Road Accident Statistic underline how in the big cities the average age of people involved in car accidents is between 40 and 50 years old. (You already mentioned this fact above, there is no need to repeat it)
ON the other hand, NOT ONLY I BELIEVE THAT MOVIES DO NOT INFLUENCE THE WAY YOUNG PEOPLE DRIVE BUT ALSO THEY ARE, IN FACT, BETTER DRIVERS. FIRST, their mind is more reactive, THEREFORE this MAKES them more AWARE OF hazards. Secondly, BECAUSE of their age, their LEARNING ABILITIES ARE MORE DEVELOPED THAN THOSE OF OLDER PEOPLE, ENABLING THEM TO BECOME FAST LEARNERS. Also, they ARE more RECEPTIVE TO SAFETY DRIVING COURSES.
IN ORDER TO HELP THIS NEW DRIVERS, the appropriate institutions are opening their doors FOR giving them access to updated information, WHICH INCLUDES THE USE OF recent technologies such as Internet, e-books and media. Thanks to this, the new GENERATION OF DRIVERS IS more MOTIVATED to respect road rules and speed limits.
TO CONCLUDE, I WANT to restate my disagreement ABOUT what some people EXPRESS against car chase movies AND THEIR INFLUENCE IN YOUNG PEOPLE DRIVING HABITS, because AS I STATE ABOVE, MOVIES CAN NOT BE CONSIDERED THE MAIN CAUSE OF THE INCREMENT OF ROAD ACCIDENTS.
....
My conclusion:
- Divide your essay in clear paragraphs,
- Use transitions (On the other hand, However, Nevertheless, etc. etc.) but only when needed and IF it is needed.
- Don't use contractions (Like Don't! Use do not. Is not, There is, and so far)
- Vary your vocabulary. Use synonyms, try not to repeat the same word in the same paragraph, that makes the text sound robotic
- Don't repeat your ideas. If you have already stated that "pollution is a risk to environment because it causes global warming" in your introduction, then don't repeat the statement in the body as if you have never mentioned it. WHAT YOU CAN DO IS RETAKE AN ALREADY STATED IDEA IN ORDER TO INTRODUCE A NEW ONE. Following the previous example, you can state that "due to global warming, caused by pollution, we are experiencing serious changes in global weather"
What score are you aiming? I'm no expert but you need to work in your coherence and consistency ASAP
[/i]
Thank you very much for your answer!! And your corrections!!!
I need 6 each module...
Re: IELTS TEST IN 2 DAYS!! Just an opinion PLEASE!
Tulisin1922 (or everyone) What about this? just done:
People often believe that great musicians are born and not made.
Do you agree that we are born with much of our ability, or are there other factors, such as family and environment, that determine success?
ASSAY:
History shows to everyone how extraordinary talentuous can be the humankind in matter of music. But this is not for all of us. In fact, as many people think, just whom born with particular gifts are bounded to become musicians artists. In my opinion, this is not completely wrong, but we also have to consider some other factors.
Nevertheless there are some persons who thinks hat just with hard study and a good quality of experience, is it possible to become a good musician, many other sustains that the most talented musicians in the world are born with specifics abilities.
However, other factors can help to develop these abilities. For instance, an immortal musician as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, claimed by the critics as one of the most amazing musical artist of all the times, he have been supported by his father as shown in the movie "Amadeus", where the director describe Mozart's father as an insensible parent that just wanted his son to become a star, even forcing him to study music many hours a day against his will.
Nowadays, is becoming more difficult to discover great musicians due to the easy access that young people have to technologies appliance. Indeed, music teacher from all over the world complain about how is difficult to involve youngest in music studies, due to the time spent on internet or social network.
In addiction, even good friendship with people who share the same passion in music can be a very advantageous point to involve youngest to keep on develop their abilities in music.
In conclusion, as described in this assay, is difficult to take a clear decision about whether musician are just genius born or they can become that.
However, I completely agree that some luckiest people born with great and amazing rare abilities, but although this some other factors such as influence of parents and quality of the study in music practice, can bring this people to increase the level of their talent, helping them to build their success.
People often believe that great musicians are born and not made.
Do you agree that we are born with much of our ability, or are there other factors, such as family and environment, that determine success?
ASSAY:
History shows to everyone how extraordinary talentuous can be the humankind in matter of music. But this is not for all of us. In fact, as many people think, just whom born with particular gifts are bounded to become musicians artists. In my opinion, this is not completely wrong, but we also have to consider some other factors.
Nevertheless there are some persons who thinks hat just with hard study and a good quality of experience, is it possible to become a good musician, many other sustains that the most talented musicians in the world are born with specifics abilities.
However, other factors can help to develop these abilities. For instance, an immortal musician as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, claimed by the critics as one of the most amazing musical artist of all the times, he have been supported by his father as shown in the movie "Amadeus", where the director describe Mozart's father as an insensible parent that just wanted his son to become a star, even forcing him to study music many hours a day against his will.
Nowadays, is becoming more difficult to discover great musicians due to the easy access that young people have to technologies appliance. Indeed, music teacher from all over the world complain about how is difficult to involve youngest in music studies, due to the time spent on internet or social network.
In addiction, even good friendship with people who share the same passion in music can be a very advantageous point to involve youngest to keep on develop their abilities in music.
In conclusion, as described in this assay, is difficult to take a clear decision about whether musician are just genius born or they can become that.
However, I completely agree that some luckiest people born with great and amazing rare abilities, but although this some other factors such as influence of parents and quality of the study in music practice, can bring this people to increase the level of their talent, helping them to build their success.