please help me to evaluate my essay, which score band ?

[issamfayad@yahoo.com]

Even though globalization affects the world in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten, Discuss
You should write at least 250 words


No doubt that the globalization is extremely important for societies. Especially, in developing countries that need to exchange cultures with other communities. Although it has a positive side upon some people's opinions, others find out some disadvantages of it. We are going to analyze and discuss both sides before drawing a logical conclusion.

It was believed that the globalization make the world as a small village. In particular, the internet service could allow people to contact each other at the same time even if they are in different places around the world. They could exchange various cultures and traditions as well as explore the other side of the planet. As a result, globalization has an impressive impact in drawing peace bridges without borders.

On the other hand, other people think that globalization distribute bad habits and contribute in the higher rates of criminals incidents. For example, gangs of drugs easily extend their market to new places. This will allow drugs to be in hands of a lot of people as well as destroy generations of youth. Therefore, there is a remarkable negative side of transferring habits throughout different countries.

In conclusion, the globalization has a bright face for developing countries but we should aware about its darkness part, to protect youth people falling in its deep holes. Thus, it is very important to bring our children on how they could benefited of globalization and ignore the negative part.

[will.nguyen]

Even though globalization affects the world in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten, Discuss
You should write at least 250 words


No doubt that the globalization is extremely important for societies. Especially, in developing countries that need to exchange cultures with other communities. Although it has a positive side upon some people's opinions, others find out some disadvantages of it. We are going to analyze and discuss both sides before drawing a logical conclusion.

It was believed that the globalization make the world as a small village. In particular, the internet service could allow people to contact each other at the same time even if they are in different places around the world. They could exchange various cultures and traditions as well as explore the other side of the planet. As a result, globalization has an impressive impact in drawing peace bridges without borders.

On the other hand, other people think that globalization distribute bad habits and contribute in the higher rates of criminals incidents. For example, gangs of drugs easily extend their market to new places. This will allow drugs to be in hands of a lot of people as well as destroy generations of youth. Therefore, there is a remarkable negative side of transferring habits throughout different countries.

In conclusion, the globalization has a bright face for developing countries but we should aware about its darkness part, to protect youth people falling in its deep holes. Thus, it is very important to bring our children on how they could benefited of globalization and ignore the negative part.

My comments below are purely my opinions.
I believe this essay worth around 5.5 to 6.
1st of all, in the benefit paragraph, I do not see how could you lead to the conclusion. You were talking about exchanging cultures and traditions.
2nd, in the negative paragraph, I believe without globalization, criminal incident happen everywhere and in every countries. I mean you could talk about globalization can cause massive unemployment rate in developing countries.
Finally, regarding the vocabulary, I believe you have a good vocabulary. However, there are some weird words here, such as: "darkness part", youth people, deep holes.

AGAIN, PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS PURELY MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION.

[Flick]

Even though globalization affects the world in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten, Discuss
You should write at least 250 words


There is no doubt that globalization is extremely important for societie. Especially in developing countries that need to exchange culture with other communities. Although it has a positive side, there are also several disadvantages to globalization. We are going to analyze and discuss both sides before drawing a logical conclusion.

It is often said that globalization makes the world as a small village. In particular, the internet allows people to contact each other in real time even if they are in different places around the world. They can exchange various cultures and traditions as well as explore the other side of the planet. As a result, globalization has an impressive impact in drawing peace bridges without borders.

On the other hand, other people think that globalization distributes bad habits and contributes to the higher rates of criminal incidents. For example, gangs who sell drugs can easily extend their market to new places. This will allow drugs to be more available to a lot of people as well as destroy generations of youth. Therefore, there is a remarkable negative side of transferring habits throughout different countries.

In conclusion, globalization has a bright face for developing countries, but we should be aware of possible negative impacts, to protect youth from falling into the wrong crowd.. Thus, it is very important to educate our children on how they could benefit from globalization and ignore the negative part.