please check my essay!!! aiming 6.5+,following structuters

[Mr Azik]

please give me feedback and put me score

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of 60-65 can continue to live full and active lives.
In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make.

In our modern world, life expectancy has become very longer than ever before. People aged 60-65 can even live as actively as adults. In that case, in my point of view, they can do variety of activities and make a huge benefit for the society socially, culturally and economically.

To begin with, old people play pivotal role in child’s development. At their age they normally have grandchildren who are at about teenage age. The old spend most of their time with them and nurture them with care, attention and also knowledge. As a result, the children grow up as a law-abiding-citizen and contribute a lot of profit for the society. Thus their role in upbringing is significant in our social life.

Secondly, they are the keepers of our traditions and culture. It is well-known that culture is a symbol of a country and that is why they always try to maintain it and teach the youth about it. Because of them, we know who we are and who our ancestors were.

Finally, most old people prefer to travel around the country at retirement age. This is really profitable to country’s economy. Because the tourist organizations can be filled by them and as a result these organizations can develop.

To sum up, old people can make more benefit than they did through their life at retirement age for economical and social growth.

[Mr Azik]

hello miss liz please check my essay. i need your help

[Flick]

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of 60-65 can continue to live full and active lives.
In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make.

In our modern world, life expectancy has become much longer than ever before. People aged 60-65 can live actively as adults. In this case, in my point of view, they can do a variety of activities and make a huge impact on society socially, culturally and economically.

To begin with, old people play a pivotal role in children'sdevelopment. At their age they normally have grandchildren who are at about teenage age. The old spend most of their time with them and nurture them with care, attention and also knowledge. As a result, the children grow up as law-abiding citizens and contribute a lot of profit to society. Thus, their role in upbringing is significant in our social life.

Secondly, they are the keepers of our traditions and culture. It is well-known that culture is a symbol of a country and that is why they always try to maintain it and teach the youth about it. Because of them, we know who we are and who our ancestors were.

Finally, most old people prefer to travel around the country at retirement age. This is really profitable to the country’s economy because tourist organizations can be filled by them and as a result these organizations can develop.

To sum up, old people can have more benefit than they did through their life at retirement age for economical and social growth.

[shanewilliams]

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