Petrol Price increase topic - Please comment on my Essay

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steakpie
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2014 12:04 pm

Petrol Price increase topic - Please comment on my Essay

Post by steakpie »

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What other measures do you think might be effective?


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Petrol has been increasingly used throughout the world, this is very apparent from the density of cars we see on roads today.
The ever increasing use of petrol is also evident from the increasing pollution and traffic problems faced by most parts of the world. It is strongly disagreed that increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. This will be proven by analyzing alternative measures which solve growing traffic and pollution problems far better than increasing the price of petrol. This will also be proven by the fact that pollution and transport problems still persist inspite of increase in petrol prices in the past.


History has shown that simply increasing the price of petrol does not result in any significant decrease in its use. A man commuting to his office everyday using his bike might not stop using his bike altogether just because of a price increase. Petrol prices have increased in the past, but traffic and pollution problems are still a matter of concern. Thus, increasing the price of petrol is not the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.


The the most effective way to solving growing traffic and pollution problems is to decrease the use of petrol and the automobiles that use them. The best way to do this is to establish rules that curb the amount of petrol available to each household every month , as well as limit the number of vehicles each household can own to a bare minimum .This strategy will not only reduce petrol consumption, but will also decrease the use of vehicles that use petrol. Increasing the prices simply cannot achieve this level of control since the limit only depends on what the user is ready to pay for the luxury. After allaying this , it is clear that restricting the availability of petrol and vehicles is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems, as opposed to simply increasing the price of petrol.


Following the analyzation of the scope of restricting petrol and vehicle use as opposed to just increasing the price of petrol, it is clear that increasing the price of petrol is not the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. It is expected that restrictions on petrol and vehicles might be put in the near future, and that it would help in bringing down the pollution and traffic problems.





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Please comment whatever you wish, I am open for criticism and I'll thank you if you make me cry, so do not hesitate in saying anything offensive :)

I hope you guys help me improve in some way ,thanks a lot in advance :)
steakpie
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2014 12:04 pm

Re: Petrol Price increase topic - Please comment on my Essay

Post by steakpie »

can anyone please critique this :(
steakpie
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2014 12:04 pm

Re: Petrol Price increase topic - Please comment on my Essay

Post by steakpie »

anyone?

got my exam in 4 days :(
umairomee
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:31 pm

Re: Petrol Price increase topic - Please comment on my Essay

Post by umairomee »

Nice attempt.
One suggestion is to take a position and support it fully. You only have spent one paragraph on your position.

Secondly most of your writing is on defining other measures. You must give the proper balance to each section.

Linking sentences are weak. Try to remember some linking words e.g for instance, it is clearly, however. Also learn how to use them properly.
steakpie
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2014 12:04 pm

Re: Petrol Price increase topic - Please comment on my Essay

Post by steakpie »

umairomee wrote:Nice attempt.
One suggestion is to take a position and support it fully. You only have spent one paragraph on your position.

Secondly most of your writing is on defining other measures. You must give the proper balance to each section.

Linking sentences are weak. Try to remember some linking words e.g for instance, it is clearly, however. Also learn how to use them properly.
hey thanks for your response, so do you think I should have devoted 2 paras to support my position and just 1 for other measures?

Thank you :)
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