Please help me with this essay: "traffic congestion in citie

[thuclinh2603]

Essay question:
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years in the world that many cities now are "one big traffic jam".
Do you think that this statement is true?
What measure can government take to address this problem?

Over the past three decade, due to the tremendous growth of the technological industry, automobiles have risen to be the number one choice for commuters all over the world. As a consequence, in most of the big cities in developing countries as well as developed ones, heavy traffic congestion during rush hours has become an aggravated problem that cannot be addressed yet. As far as I am concerned, this statement proves to be true; therefore, it is time for the authorities to take appropriate actions to combat this issues.
To begin with, traffic jam has recently become the heated controversy amongst developed nations, specifically in Europe and North America, where the rate of using automobiles are considered the highest on the planet. Take Boston or Los Angeles city in US as examples, since more Americans are working again and the number of cars are pegged to the nation’s financial fortunes, congestion is building in these job – infused cities. Further, it is irrefutable that the global population has not showed any sign of ceasing while road and infrastructure cannot satisfy the growing demand; at the same time, the number of cars is not expected to drop in the near future as well as traffic congestion either.
As a result, it is the government that has been compelled to find ways to tackle with the aforementioned matter to banish traffic jams completely if possible by listening to experts’ advices. One of the most radical solution that has been proposed is to begin with the cars themselves but not the roads. It is strongly believed that if we could develop a wireless vehicle-to-vehicle communication, traffic would flow more smoothly and drivers would be better prepared of what is going to happen ahead; since in many cases, traffic congestion is believed to be triggered by human aggressive behavior and inappropriate actions.
In conclusion, it is indisputable that traffic jams are on the upswing in various parts of the world. Therefore, the authority should implement viable solution based on scientific researches and new ideas to beat traffic congestions completely.

[jas1414]

In my opinion you score should more than 7.5 bands

[Johnson zhang]

Essay question:
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years in the world that many cities now are "one big traffic jam".
Do you think that this statement is true?
What measure can government take to address this problem?

Over the past three decade, due to the tremendous growth of the technological industry, automobiles have risen to be the number one choice for commuters all over the world.the growing tech industry caused the popularity of cars, are you serious? As a consequence, in most of the big cities in developing countries as well as developed ones, heavy traffic congestion during rush hours has become an aggravated problem what do you mean 'become an aggravated problem' that cannot be addressed yeti think it can be addressed though difficult. As far as I am concerned, this statement proves to be true; therefore, it is time for the authorities to take appropriate actions to combat this issues. this issues?

To begin with, traffic jam has recently become the heated controversy amongst developed nations, specifically in Europe and North America, where the rate of using automobiles are considered the highest on the planet. Take Boston or Los Angeles city in US as examples, since more Americans are working again and the number of cars are pegged to the nation’s financial fortunes, congestion is building in these job – infused cities. Further, it is irrefutable that the global population has not showed any sign of ceasing while road and infrastructure cannot satisfy the growing demand; at the same time, the number of cars is not expected to drop in the near future as well as traffic congestion either.
As a result, it is the government that has been compelled to find ways to tackle with the aforementioned matter to banish traffic jams completely if possible by listening to experts’ advices. One of the most radical solution that has been proposed is to begin with the cars themselves but not the roads. It is strongly believed that if we could develop a wireless vehicle-to-vehicle communication, traffic would flow more smoothly and drivers would be better prepared of what is going to happen ahead; since in many cases, traffic congestion is believed to be triggered by human aggressive behavior and inappropriate actions.

In conclusion, it is indisputable i feel like you talk down to readers by pointing out the obvious that traffic jams are on the upswing in various parts of the world. Therefore, the authority should implement viable solution based on scientific researches and new ideas to beat traffic congestions completely.

[thuclinh2603]

yeah,
I think that due to the growing of the industry ( just like Henry Ford example), more cars are produced than ever with much reasonable price. As a reason, there is no doubt that more commuters would choose to use it rather than other types of personal transportation.

I think it is a hard problem that has not been addressed YET. Not saying that it is impossible to do though.

Thank you for your comments!

[Johnson zhang]

yeah,
I think that due to the growing of the industry ( just like Henry Ford example), more cars are produced than ever with much reasonable price. As a reason, there is no doubt that more commuters would choose to use it rather than other types of personal transportation.

when people talk about tech industry, they refer to inventions that are digital. I believe the advances in robotic tech have helped lowering the cost of car production. However ,i believe what really has driven the price down is the competition.
anyway, do you really think presenting a debatable argument in your intro would help? your first sentence should be an always-true general statement about the topic , don't go too far


I think it is a hard problem that has not been addressed YET. Not saying that it is impossible to do though.
as far as I'm concern, central governments want to solve this problem, for a lot of times, they are incompetent. I still think saying ' cannot be addressed' is an overstatement you should avoid.

Thank you for your comments!

You are welcome

[thuclinh2603]

Thank you for your comments, I truly appreciate!
Please check out my other post about advertisement on children if you have time