Please check my Essay( TASK 2 ) Poverty .

[jyotisko]

QUESTION : Although many countries are becoming richer, these societies still have members who are poor and struggle each day to survive.
Why do you think this happens and what can wealthy societies do to help their poorer citizens?

Poverty is a term which is not unknown to any corner of the world . No matter how much the countries develop economically , we will still be able to find people who doesn't have enough money to live a day even unless they fight for it .
My conjectures about the reasons behind this poverty are uncontrolled population rate , government corruptible process , misuse of financial aids and many more . For instance ,considering a scenario in a developed country where a guy with not much financial resources marries a girl . He aspire to become father of many kids assuming that the kids will be his support when he wont be able to earn much for himself in his old age . However because of his low income , he deprive the kids of their basic needs and the kids are not able to develop themselves properly to earn much . If suppose , he would have contained himself to have one kid . Maybe things would occur differently . The misuse of financial aids and corruption in the government also leads to increasing poverty . The richer businessman asks for quid pro quo from the politician with bribes which often leads to exploitation of poor people .

To eradicate poverty , the richer people can of course be part of the solution . By proper utilization of the financial aids from the government and investing them into necessary area can be helpful in solving the issue of poverty . Allocation of financial resources for arrangement for loans to people who shows the interest to start a small scale business . Educating the poor people about the negative effects of high populating may be a good option . For this , various presentations and seminar can be held to spread the message uniformly. We often see with the advent of technology such as Industry 4.0 ( fully automatic industrial process ) leads to enormous amount of job loss. By restricting entry of such technologies which effects the livelihood of poor people , we may be able to restrict poverty too . I believe if government and the richer group of society works together properly and efficiently , then we can reduce the limits of poverty to certain limits .


( 285 words )


I would be glad if any one could check my essay and rate my essay as per IELTS band .

Thanks a lot in advance

[jyotisko]

Thanks for the help in advance .

[Flick]

QUESTION : Although many countries are becoming richer, these societies still have members who are poor and struggle each day to survive.
Why do you think this happens and what can wealthy societies do to help their poorer citizens?

Poverty is a term which is not unknown to any corner of the world. No matter how much countries develop economically, we can still find people who don't have enough money to survive.
My conjectures about the reasons behind this poverty are uncontrolled population rate, corruptible governments, misuse of financial aid and many more. For instance, considering a scenario in a developed country where a guy with few financial resources marries a girl. He wants to become a father and assumes that the kids will support him in his old age. However, because of his low income, his children are deprived of basic needs and are not able to develop properly to earn much. If he only had one child, maybe things would have been different. The misuse of financial aid and corruption in the government also leads to increasing poverty. The rich businessman asks for quid pro quo from the politician with bribes which often leads to exploitation of poor people.

To eradicate poverty, richer people need to be part of the solution. The proper utilization of financial aid from the government and investing in necessary areas can be helpful in solving the issue of poverty. Allocation of financial resources for arrangement for loans to people who show interest in starting a small scale business could be effective. Educating poor people about the negative effects of high populations may be a good option. For this, various presentations and seminars can be held to spread the message. We often see the advent of technology such as Industry 4.0 (fully automatic industrial process) leads to enormous amounts of job loss. By restricting the entry of such technologies which effect the livelihoods of poor people, we may be able to restrict poverty too. I believe if government and the richer group of society works together properly and efficiently, then we can reduce the limits of poverty.


( 285 words )

Hi jyotisko,

One note: there is no space between words and punctuation.
I like cats . <-- This is wrong.
I like cats. <-- This is right.

Thanks,
Flick