please rate my essay task 2 for academic

[shif]

ESSAY: Will internet bring people of world together? Do you agree or disagree

Whether, internet will enhance people's interaction worldwide has been in debates for many years .A huge number of people believe that it has brought positive impacts in their lives, while on the hand it is argued that it has created some negative impacts .In this essay I will suss out some arguments for and against virtual communication.
I am strongly in favor that cyberspace has brought significant changes in day to day life. One of the key reasons is that it has bridged gap between people worldwide .For instance individuals from other nations can communicate effectively in affordable price rather than spending huge cost of money on travelling .They can share their feelings ,pictures as well as messages through twitter, skype and can virtually chat with each other. Furthermore, it is the magnificent source of distant learning. For example students can access on line education and brush up their knowledge especially those pupil who cannot afford to get admission in higher institutes .Moreover, they can get knowledge from online resources like on line libraries where they read books .Subsequently, another significant benefit is that business man can glorified by easy communication to their customers ,these corporate person can update their latest information twenty four hours a day which eventually can enhance their business
While , the contrary school of thought believes that it can make peoples isolated and less social, for instance instead of surfing on internet these individuals can chose to work with vulnerable elderly people out of altruism .In addition to that these people can suffer in certain health consequences like depression.
Finally, what has been discussed in this essay, to recapitulate, I personally believe that advantage of internet to bring people together outweigh the disadvantages .As internet is now a necessity of life to communicate virtually with each other and plays a vital role in our life

[Mr Yank]

Terrific ! I presume this essay deserves to get 7 despite some grammatical mistakes. You have been able to provide a reader with cogent arguments. I would probably evaluate your essay 7 overall.