When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In this modern era machines have replaced humnas and there is a competition to complete a task quickly, efficiently and in mass production. This has led to replace traditional skills with new ways of doing it with machines. It is argued that traditional skills will die a slow death as technology evolves and country adopts them for growth. I disagree with it as products made of traditional skills have their unique place as handmade and people recognize it and pay premium to buy them.
Industrialization has affected Indian traditional skills but not killed. India has rich history and Indians started manufacturing goods since thousands of years. They were pioneers in lock making, sculptures, cloth making and last but not the lease famous silk Kanchipuram sarees. Since 20th century, many industries were affected like now silk sarees cab be manufactured in 2 hours which traditionally took more than 2 weeks. But people have realized the difference between both these sarees and pay premium for original handmade sarees. These handmade products are positioned differently in different shops and not in ordinary shops.
Every country tries to protect its traditional skills by providing incentives and by promoting their work as handicrafts. Countries encourages tour operator promote their handicrafts by taking visitors to such places like in Malaysia and India. They show how these products are made using traditional skills and in turn people buy them as souvenirs. In certain cases, government levis taxes like anti-dumping when cheap Chinese cocoons were sold in India to kill traditional making of cocoons.
In conclusion, traditional skills will not die out as some people think. Traditional products have unique positioning and people acknowledge it. As Government adopts new technology it also tries to preserve its tradition by promoting, by providing incentives and keeps a fine balance.
Writing Task 2, General Training
Re: Writing Task 2, General Training
Hi mkhalsa,mkhalsa wrote:When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In this modern era machines have replaced humnas and there is a competition to complete a task quickly, efficiently and in mass production. This has led to replace traditional skills with new ways of doing it with machines. It is argued that traditional skills will die a slow death as technology evolves and country adopts them for growth. I disagree with it as products made of traditional skills have their unique place as handmade and people recognize it and pay premium to buy them.
Industrialization has affected Indian traditional skills but not killed. India has rich history and Indians started manufacturing goods since thousands of years. They were pioneers in lock making, sculptures, cloth making and last but not the lease famous silk Kanchipuram sarees. Since 20th century, many industries were affected like now silk sarees cab be manufactured in 2 hours which traditionally took more than 2 weeks. But people have realized the difference between both these sarees and pay premium for original handmade sarees. These handmade products are positioned differently in different shops and not in ordinary shops.
Every country tries to protect its traditional skills by providing incentives and by promoting their work as handicrafts. Countries encourages tour operator promote their handicrafts by taking visitors to such places like in Malaysia and India. They show how these products are made using traditional skills and in turn people buy them as souvenirs. In certain cases, government levis taxes like anti-dumping when cheap Chinese cocoons were sold in India to kill traditional making of cocoons.
In conclusion, traditional skills will not die out as some people think. Traditional products have unique positioning and people acknowledge it. As Government adopts new technology it also tries to preserve its tradition by promoting, by providing incentives and keeps a fine balance.
I can see signs of structure in your essay. You appear to separate the different sections of your writing into paragraphs. This is positive.
But there appears to be quite a bit of awkwardness in the way you word things. The opening sentence, for example, runs on in a way that makes it difficult to follow (i.e. I am unsure why you don't separate the ideas of "machines replacing humans" and "competition" into their own sentences).
I think the examples you share are strong, but unfortunately they are delivered in a way that is difficult to follow. My advice i to shorten your sentences as much as possible until your grammar improves. Do not try to write in long, complex sentences at this time. You have not yet mastered basic vocabulary, so there is no reason to stretch your abilities to a breaking point.
Please don't forget to make efforts to tie the final sentences of your supporting paragraphs back to your thesis. This link is very important, as it provides cohesion at the essay level.
I feel this essay is at about a 4.5 band.
Good luck!
