Please review my GT Writing task 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Iam Abu
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2015 10:19 am

Please review my GT Writing task 2

Post by Iam Abu »

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
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Traffic and pollution pose a mammoth problem in 21st century, resulting in serious consequences to the present and future generation if left unattended. Though the proposal of increasing the price of fuel might sound an easy pick, I don't believe that it has any impact on the long run.

Inflation on fuel prices may initially force commuters to look for alternative means of transport. But, down the lane every individual try ways to improve their earnings so as to get along with the inflation. For instance, petrol price in India is higher compared to other developed countries. However, the rate of increase in vehicle ownership is still rapid. People work harder or cut down their expenditure on other things as a workaround to the higher fuel prices.

On the other hand, one effective solution would be to provide better public transport. Such a commutation should not just cover every part of the city but also to fit each commuter's budget. So in such an arrangement, at least the office-goers will give up their personal means of transport which is actually tiring on fully packed roads. For example, in Singapore which has scarce land space has well connected public transport as a proven attempt to reduce congested roads. This is definitely not a quick solution, but will definitely an advantage to reap in the future.

To conclude, I wouldn't buy the idea of increasing the prices rather would suggest the government to invest tax payer's money with quality public transport so as to address this issue.

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Any feedback is highly appreciated . :) Thanks
Johnson zhang
Posts: 153
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 8:34 am

Re: Please review my GT Writing task 2

Post by Johnson zhang »

Iam Abu wrote:Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
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Traffic and pollution pose a mammoth problem in 21st century, resulting in serious consequences to the present and future generation if left unattended. Though the proposal of increasing the price of fuel might sound an easy pick, I don't believe that it has any impact on the long run.

Inflation on fuel prices may initially force commuters to look for alternative means of transport. But, down the lane every individual try ways to improve their earnings so as to get along with the inflation. For instance, petrol price in India is higher compared to other developed countries. However, the rate of increase in vehicle ownership is still rapid. People work harder or cut down their expenditure on other things as a workaround to the higher fuel prices. good argument, I would still think if the price is high enough, it will sway people driving less. the ownership is rising doest mean a rise in car usage. if all car owners even considering the new ones coming in each year are to drive less, the traffic will improve

On the other hand, one effective solution would be to provide better public transport. Such a commutation should not just cover every part of the city but also to fit each commuter's budget. So in such an arrangement, at least the office-goers will give up their personal means of transport which is actually tiring on fully packed roads. For example, in Singapore which has scarce land space has well connected public transport as a proven attempt to reduce congested roads. This is definitely not a quick solution, but will definitely an advantage to reap in the future.
very good. to make it better, can you say more about what exactly the government should do, for example, bigger buses during peak hours, better timetable?

To conclude, I wouldn't buy the idea of increasing the prices rather would suggest the government to invest tax payer's money with quality public transport so as to address this issue.

your conclusion is a bit weak, in my opinion anyway. a quick summary of your main ideas on top of your thesis restatement would be great. Also I am not sure about 'buy the idea', this kinda language isn't academic to me. Abbreviation, wouldn't, certainly is not allowed.

your english is very good. from my exp. this piece could get a 7+

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Any feedback is highly appreciated . :) Thanks
Nothing is impossible! Band score 9 is certainly not.
Iam Abu
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2015 10:19 am

Re: Please review my GT Writing task 2

Post by Iam Abu »

Thanks for your valuable comments, Johnson :)
alainfarhi
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:55 am

Re: Please review my GT Writing task 2

Post by alainfarhi »

Nice Post :lol: :lol:
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lindamalin234
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2015 9:41 am

Re: Please review my GT Writing task 2

Post by lindamalin234 »

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