I welcome any comment for my writing. :)

[dental]

Task 2: Children should take some lessons outside of classroom like visiting companies of public building. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

A) One of the highly controversial issues today relates to kids have to receive some outside education activities.
There are those who maintain that outside education activities can provide motivation for students while others contend that there is no money and time where all schools can afford these programs. In this essay, I am going to debate this question from both point of view and then put forward my opinion on the matter.

On one side of the arguments there are people who argue that the benefits of education purpose considerably outweigh its disadvantages. There is a number of opportunities to obtain some ideas or motivation during these activities. A good example is in Japan. From pre-school to secondary school, Japanese students have a duty to participate to outside of classroom activities. Japanese kids need to choose their interest such as computing volunteer. This shows that outside of classroom lesson can be compulsory education in some countries.

On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. Every school cannot afford these outside activities due to lack of budget. As a result, it is better to focus on traditional classroom in certain areas. One good illustration is that South Korea. The korean education system is focus on theory instead of practicum so that students study on SAT in order to enter top universities. That is their best option.

One could draw the conclusion that both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I agree that we need to encourage students who should take some lessons from outside of classroom. These education program will benefit them in every aspect of their future lives.

[dental]

nobody???

[jaffer.anwer]

Task 2: Children should take some lessons outside of classroom like visiting companies of public building. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

A) One of the highly controversial issues today relates to kids have to receive some outside education activities.
There are those who maintain that outside education activities can provide motivation for students while others contend that there is no money and time where all schools can afford these programs. In this essay, I am going to debate this question from both point of view and then put forward my opinion on the matter.

On one side of the arguments there are people who argue that the benefits of education purpose considerably outweigh its disadvantages. There is a number of opportunities to obtain some ideas or motivation during these activities. A good example is in Japan. From pre-school to secondary school, Japanese students have a duty to participate to outside of classroom activities. Japanese kids need to choose their interest such as computing volunteer. This shows that outside of classroom lesson can be compulsory education in some countries.

On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. Every school cannot afford these outside activities due to lack of budget. As a result, it is better to focus on traditional classroom in certain areas. One good illustration is that South Korea. The korean education system is focus on theory instead of practicum so that students study on SAT in order to enter top universities. That is their best option.

One could draw the conclusion that both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I agree that we need to encourage students who should take some lessons from outside of classroom. These education program will benefit them in every aspect of their future lives.

Your essay looks pretty good. I am not an expert however, I believe you have used good range of vocabulary and formation of sentences is of the expected level. I think you could improvise it further considering your good language skills.

[dental]

Thank you for your opinion.

[Johnson zhang]

Task 2: Children should take some lessons outside of classroom like visiting companies of public building. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

A) One of the highly controversial issues today relates to kids have to receive some outside education activities.
There are those who maintain that outside education activities can provide motivation for students while others contend that there is no money and time where all schools can afford these programs. In this essay, I am going to debate this question from both point of view and then put forward my opinion on the matter.

On one side of the arguments there are people who argue that the benefits of education purpose considerably outweigh its disadvantages. There is a number of opportunities to obtain some ideas or motivation during these activities. A good example is in Japan. From pre-school to secondary school, Japanese students have a duty to participate to outside of classroom activities. Japanese kids need to choose their interest such as computing volunteer. This shows that outside of classroom lesson can be compulsory education in some countries.

On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. Every school cannot afford these outside activities due to lack of budget. As a result, it is better to focus on traditional classroom in certain areas. One good illustration is that South Korea. The korean education system is focus on theory instead of practicum so that students study on SAT in order to enter top universities. That is their best option.

One could draw the conclusion that both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I agree that we need to encourage students who should take some lessons from outside of classroom. These education program will benefit them in every aspect of their future lives.

you pretty much copied most of its words and use them in a way they clash with your own words, ending up some very awkward sentences. I wouldn't be surprised if you got penalised for using memorised text.

[dental]

Yeah, when I study writing section, I memorize some sentences. And then try to use them.

Thank you for your comment.