Both parent work.. Please check this writing for ielts task2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
saifulmalook
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2015 12:29 am

Both parent work.. Please check this writing for ielts task2

Post by saifulmalook »

It is necessary that both life partners should work for earning to fulfill the needs of their children. There is no doubt their children could not get parental care and their expenses might be a little bit extra . There will be some advantage and disadvantage which will be explained.
Primarily, No one can deny that expenses are increasing day by day so it is essential to work by both wife and husband. It is believed that marriage life will be good with some extra income. For example payment of grocery may be bear by wife and other expenses like clothes , school fee, and bills might be affordable by husband income. Education of their children will be improved and they will be happy, so sense of inferiority . However, social network and awareness for latest issue create sense in both individuals.
Now people are beginning to realize about some disadvantages like such parent could not give proper time to their children. It might be negative effect on growth of children. It might be possible such people remain away from their relative which will affect their respect in society. It can be expressed that these people behave as a materialistic, behave just like thinking that money can replace each value of humanity.
It is believed that needs could be minimize to attain satisfaction although there are many works in home to do for woman.
In conclusion therefore, if one would like to avoid such types of tension It should be cope all jobs yourself. Women need in house for children.
arsa818
Posts: 29
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2015 10:59 am

Re: Both parent work.. Please check this writing for ielts t

Post by arsa818 »

Brother their is no question how some one analyze the answer
User avatar
Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Both parent work.. Please check this writing for ielts t

Post by Flick »

saifulmalook wrote:It is necessary that both life partners should work in order to fulfill the needs of their children. There is no doubt their children would require parental care and their expenses might be a little bit extra. There are both advantages and disadvantages which will be explained.

Primarily, no one can deny that expenses are increasing day by day, so it is essential for both the husband and wife to work. It is believed that married life will be better with some extra income. For example, grocery shopping could be paid for by the wife, while other expenses like clothes, school fees, and bills might be covered by the husband's income.
Education of their children will be improved and they will be happy, so sense of inferiority.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) However, social network and awareness for latest issue create sense in both individuals.(<--This sentence doesn't make sense. What are you trying to say?)

Now people are beginning to realize some disadvantages to both parents working, like not spending time with their children. This may have a negative effect on the growth of the children. It might be possible such people remain away from their relative which will affect their respect in society.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) It can be suggested that these people are materialistic, thinking that money can replace each value of humanity.

It is believed that needs could be minimized to attain satisfaction although there are many jobs to be done in the home.
In conclusion therefore, if one would like to avoid such types of tension It should be cope all jobs yourself.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) Women need in house for children.(<--This sentence doesn't make sense.)
As arsa818 said, it is very difficult to analyse your essay without the question. What is your opinion? Do you support or reject the original question?
Post Reply