my task 2 essay

[alhejaj]

Hello everyone

I wonder if anyone could help me with my task 2 essay,thanks in advance.

The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest?

Technology advances, especially with computers and web, passed many stages to reach many people and become available to everyone including teenagers. However these advances do not come without any cost and disadvantages. Such these advantages could be classified to different degrees in their severity and may affect health and time or could affect people culture and traditions.

Generally people, nowadays, browse the web during their free time. This may involve wasting a lot of their valuable time so they become addict to it without thinking seriously about their health. Research shows that people sit for long hours in front of computers monitor could suffer from many health problems such as back pain, dry eyes and other joints injuries. I think the most obvious solution is by reducing the browsing time to the minimum and following a restricted fixed schedule about what to do within aim to achieve specific tasks.

Another well-known issue is family based, appears when children and teenager getting to use the web. They could spend many hours in activities like playing online games and browsing unsocial websites. This could lead to bad performance and behavior at school. Furthermore, they may not be able to complete their homework which escalated to not attending school. This problem could be overcome by controlling browsing time and access. For examples, parents could install software such as parental control or implementing access functionality like username and password.

Lastly, a familiar problem is facing all business with their employees. They are claiming that most employees who need the internet to do their work spend many hours visiting unnecessary websites and reading unwanted emails. Such as issue could be solved by IT department by installing serves and proxies that limit access and block unwanted emails.

To conclude internet is a very useful technology that give many possibilities to people to use at work, school and home which I think personally should not misused or overused.

[bakonet]

I wonder if anyone could asses me with my task 2 essay,thanks in advance.

The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest?

Technology advances, especially with computers and web, passed many stages to reach many people and become available to everyone including teenagers. However these advances do not come without any cost and disadvantages. Such these advantages could be classified to different degrees in their severity and may affect health and time or could affect people culture and traditions.

Generally people, nowadays, browse the web during their free time. This may involve wasting a lot of their valuable time so(because) they become addict to it without thinking seriously about their health. Research shows that people sit (people who sit) for long hours in front of computers monitor could suffer from many health problems such as back pain, dry eyes and other joints injuries. I think the most obvious solution is by reducing the browsing time to the minimum and following a restricted fixed schedule about what to do within aim to achieve specific tasks.

Another well-known issue is family based, appears (which appears) when children and teenager getting(get) to use the web. They could spend many hours in activities like playing online games and browsing unsocial websites. This could lead to bad performance and behavior at school. Furthermore, they may not be able to complete their homework which escalated to not attending school. This problem could be overcome by controlling browsing time and access. For examples, parents could install software such as parental control or implementing access functionality like username and password.

Lastly, a familiar problem is facing all business with their employees. They are claiming that most employees who need the internet to do their work spend many hours visiting unnecessary websites and reading unwanted emails. Such as issue could be solved by IT department by installing serves and proxies that limit access and block unwanted emails.

To conclude internet is a very useful technology that give many possibilities to people to use at work, school and home which I think personally should not misused or overused.

I think you have a fairly good essay,with smart words such as escalate,within aim,achieve task,misuse...But your grammar has a few problems.
"technology advance''--> technological advance.Also the preposition goes with advance is ''in''.
''Such'' and ''people'' are unnecessary and make your sentence grammatically incorrect.
''addict to'' --> ''addicted to''
''the obvious solution is by reducing'' --> " ..is to reduce''
Personally I think your essay will be 6.5 or 7 (I'm leaning on 7)

[alhejaj]

Thanks mate that is a big relief. I really appreciate it.