Please evaluate my writing

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jyoti
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:41 pm

Please evaluate my writing

Post by jyoti »

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.

Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

People enjoy watching sports .Sports play important role in the fields of entertainment. Many top athletes are admired throughout their countries and have big fan following. Many people argue that professional athletes make good role models for young people, however, this is refuted by others.These arguments will be analyzed prior to coming to a reasoned conclusion.
Today, it is felt by many people that athletes make role models for young generation and inspired them with their work. Many children like famous professional athletes and want to become like them. This is apparent that many young generation like sport which is good for their health and sports teach many valuable lesson like discipline, teamwork and goal setting. For example, many top professional athletes set an example of great role model for many children in India. Professional athletes demonstrate the importance of hard work in achieving goal and practising regularly to be good at something. This example clearly shows that how professional athletes plays an important part in young generation’s life and make role model for them. Thus, It is easy to see why this argument garnered a lot of support.
On the other hand, it is refuted by others that athletes are not always role models. There are many professional athletes once they reach the level of fame, they are attracted by media attention and large financial benefits and ready to take bribe for sports fixing. For instance,There are many professional athletes who fall for money and cheated on their country. Many children think that fame and money plays an important role in sports because of that children do not learn the valuable attributes of sports . This example shows that how many athletes mislead the young generation. Thus, it is disagreed by many people that professional athletes are always roel models.

After analyzing these two points of views, it is felt that professional athletes plays an important role in young generation’s life. In years to come, professional athelets become a role model for every child if they play well and focus and show positive aspects of playing sports.
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Flick
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Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Please evaluate my writing

Post by Flick »

jyoti wrote:Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.

Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.

People enjoy watching sports. Sports play an important role in the field of entertainment. Many top athletes are admired throughout their country and have a big fan following. Many people argue that professional athletes make good role models for young people, however, this is refuted by others. These arguments will be analyzed prior to coming to a reasoned conclusion.

Today, it is felt by many people that athletes make positive role models for the younger generations and inspire them with their work. Many children like famous professional athletes and want to become like them. It is apparent that many young people like sport, which is good for their health, and sports teach many valuable lessons like discipline, teamwork and goal setting. For example, many top professional athletes set an example of how to behave for many children in India. Professional athletes demonstrate the importance of hard work in achieving goals and practising regularly to become good at something. This example clearly shows how professional athletes plays an important part in the younger generation’s life and act as good role models for them. Thus, It is easy to see why this argument has garnered a lot of support.

On the other hand, it is believed by others that athletes are not always good role models. There are many professional athletes who, once they reach a level of fame, are attracted by media attention and large financial benefits and so take bribes for sports fixing. For instance, there are many professional athletes who fall for money and cheat on their country. Many children think that fame and money play an important role in sports, and so they do not learn the valuable attributes of sports. This example shows how many athletes mislead the young. Thus, it is disagreed by many people that professional athletes are always positive role models.

After analyzing these two points of view, it is felt that professional athletes play an important role in young people's lives. In years to come, professional athletes will become role models for every child if they play well and focus and show positive aspects of playing sports.
monir301
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2015 8:59 pm

Re: Please evaluate my writing

Post by monir301 »

Thanks a lot
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