IELTS Writting Task 2 , Kindly grade and identify errors

[skswati]

hi, i am interested for 7 score kindly grade and identify mistakes.

In many countries tourism is a major part of the economy, but it also causes environmental damage and ruins the places it exploits. It is argued that tourists should pay an additional tax to compensate for this damage.

Now a days tourism is one of the most important pillar for the growth of any country’s economy. A tourism rich country earns a lot from tourists from all over the world, meanwhile it also damages the places through polluting the area and damaging the tourist attracted places. I agree with the argument that tourists should be compelled to pay extra taxes to cope with this problem.
Firstly, the enormous number of visitors when visit a tourist place causes pollution, noise and garbage. For instance, the Lahore fort is a high frequency tourist sport of our country .Daily thousands of people visit this place and results in heavy traffic jams, noise pollution and garbage in the fort and its surroundings. Therefore, Government needs enormous amount of money to tackle this problem with extra taxes should be taken from tourist to bear expenditures.
Secondly when these bulk number of tourists visit any place, they do not take care of the place and articles that exist on that place which cause damage to infrastructure, articles itself and its surroundings. Take MehrGhar, a 7000 BC old civilization as an example, many people visit this historical tourist spot while it is under excavation, some people find antique articles from the field but they do not report it to the authorities and cause damage to the said article. As a result these items are not properly handled and they are either damaged or stolen which is great lose to a national heritage. The maintenance of these historical items and places are very costly and can be meet by imposing taxes.
It is obvious to say the tourism is backbone for the economy of any country but meanwhile above mentioned arguments clearly indicates the environmental damage and ruin of places and historical items due to heavy tourist which can be overcome by imposing taxes.

[skswati]

still waiting for somebody to check this essay.
Regards,

[Johnson zhang]

what is the question?

I read it. It is pretty good. But some sentences are fundamentally wrong... Grammar is poor. You should proofread it again.

[danyocean]

In many countries tourism is a major part of the economy, but it also causes environmental damage and ruins the places it exploits. It is argued that tourists should pay an additional tax to compensate for this damage.

Another approaches
In many countries, tourism business which is an integral part of national income often harms environment and deteriorates many tourist sites. Thus, in order to help save the environment, government should charge an additional tax from travelers and tourism industry as a compensation of recovery cost.

These still contains grammatical errors, perhaps. I hope anyone could identify any mistakes. Thanks