Please rate my essay towards band 7!!!

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issamfayad@yahoo.com
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2014 7:59 pm

Please rate my essay towards band 7!!!

Post by issamfayad@yahoo.com »

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need
music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the
International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

You should write at least 250 words.
Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples
and relevant evidence.

The variety of music is apparent all over the world. Almost, our daily life events do not devoid music. Accordingly, music pieces is used in various circumstances such as domestic ceremonies, wedding parties and other situations. In this essay I am going to inspect the benefit of music to human being, and the importance of traditional music over international one.

Populations listen widely to many types of music. Particularly, and the most famous, are POP,JAZZ and classic. This difference is developed based on people demands, sensation and favour of each sort. The usefulness of music comes from human need of relaxation and demonstrating their feels to each other, or even express their objection or support towards political and social issues. As a result, music is an integral part of our day-to-day activities.

Consequently, people have to differentiate the local and global music based crucial factors. I am of the opinion that argue traditional music as the most important. Because it conserve communities identity and culture. The folklore art , for instance, almost expresses customs and traditions profoundly in an entire society. Sometimes, we can infer and pursue the history of particular group of people through the context of this sort of art. Otherwise, despite of global music may encourage societies to exchange their culture and recognise their identification, it has significant drawbacks that may obliterate identity of any community. Therefore, the national music has direct and positive influence on people, especially, when they memorize their ancestors glory and champions.

In Conclusion, I argue that music can still afford people's demands to exchange their passions and ideas in artistic behavior. Which, in turns, let communities to proudly record their tales of history for their lineage,using traditional music.
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Flick
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Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Please rate my essay towards band 7!!!

Post by Flick »

issamfayad@yahoo.com wrote:There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need
music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the
International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

You should write at least 250 words.
Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples
and relevant evidence.

The variety of music is apparent all over the world. Almost, our daily life events do not devoid music.(<--Reword to: "We hear music almost every day.") Accordingly, music is used in various circumstances such as domestic ceremonies, wedding parties and other situations. In this essay, I am going to inspect the benefit of music to human beings, and the importance of traditional music over international music.

Populations listen to many types of music. Particularly, and the most famous, are Pop, jazz and classical. This difference is developed based on individual taste and preference. The usefulness of music comes from the human need of relaxation and demonstrating their feels to each other, or even expressing their objection or support towards political and social issues. As a result, music is an integral part of our day-to-day activities.

Consequently, people have to differentiate local and global music based on crucial factors. I am of the opinion that traditional music is the most important because it conserves a community's identity and culture. Folklore art, for instance, expresses the customs and traditions of an entire society. Sometimes, we can infer and pursue the history of a particular group of people through the context of this sort of art. However, while global music may encourage societies to exchange their culture and recognise their identification, it has significant drawbacks that may obliterate the identity of any community. Therefore, national music has a direct and positive influence on people, especially when they memorize their ancestors glory and champions.

In conclusion, I argue that music can still help people to exchange their passions and ideas in artistic behavior, which, in turn, allows communities to proudly record their tales of history for their lineage, using traditional music.
issamfayad@yahoo.com
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2014 7:59 pm

Re: Please rate my essay towards band 7!!!

Post by issamfayad@yahoo.com »

Thank you Flick for your response , but i need to know from you what the score band that essay should achieve?
Umay221
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2015 2:22 am

Re: Please rate my essay towards band 7!!!

Post by Umay221 »

Wrote:“Accordingly, music is used in various circumstances such as domestic ceremonies, wedding parties and other situations.”

Talking about the wedding,i think http://www.pipedrapesystems.com/Wedding_Tent/ is also the very important things to consider ,what do you think of it
alhejaj
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:21 am

Re: Please rate my essay towards band 7!!!

Post by alhejaj »

You probably get score 6.
saqibali
Posts: 452
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:56 am

Re: Please rate my essay towards band 7!!!

Post by saqibali »

6
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alhejaj
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:21 am

Re: Please rate my essay towards band 7!!!

Post by alhejaj »

Yes, if you aim to get 7, you have to work hard on grammar mistakes and improve your essay structure.
pasban729
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Mar 26, 2015 5:15 am

Re: Please rate my essay towards band 7!!!

Post by pasban729 »

Software engineers apply the principles of engineering to the design, development, maintenance, testing, and evaluation of the software and systems that make computers or anything containing software work



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