Please help critique my speech!!

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Anye
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2015 8:26 am

Please help critique my speech!!

Post by Anye »

I am aiming for a band 9 in IELTS speaking (too ambitious ??) and I intend to take the IELTS test in April.So please give me your feedback and suggestions.Thanks.
Topic
Describe a person who has been an important influence in your life.

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ansh3091
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Apr 04, 2015 5:47 am

Re: Please help critique my speech!!

Post by ansh3091 »

Hi,

I am also a student and I don't possess much credentials to review your speech, but I am trying to suggest some points.
First of all, it was a very good attempt. You mentioned about your prof., how long you have known him, how he helped you to select your carrier path etc. I believe you lack little bit continuity, I recommend, you can hide pauses in your speech with some fillers. I suggest, you can also add one or two pints more in favor of "why your professor is influential in your life."
Anye
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2015 8:26 am

Re: Please help critique my speech!!

Post by Anye »

Thank you ansh3091 for your feedback, I will work on your suggestions.
lmoore
IELTS Instructor
IELTS Instructor
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Re: Please help critique my speech!!

Post by lmoore »

Hello, Anye,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this professor. I can see why he was influential. Being a mentor was going above and beyond his job description. Would that all teachers were like him.
Your vocabulary was quite good. I heard “disclosed my intentions,” although I wonder if this might have been a bit too formal for the speech. When you disclose your intentions, it’s implying you’ve had a secret and were planning to do something perhaps unkind to someone else. Maybe you could have said, “told him of my career plans.”
I also heard you use “took me under his wing,” which demonstrates that you have a good understanding of some idiomatic phrases used in English.
The organization of your speech was good, but I would encourage you to use some transitions to give more structure to your speech. For example, you could have listed three ways he was influential, or you could have said, “for example,” or “for instance” as you showed how he influenced you.
Your pronunciation was clear for the most part, but be aware that you must speak and enunciate clearly as there were just a couple of times during the recording when I could not make out what you were saying, most likely because you were speaking softly.
Here are some grammar notes:
--How to proceed my career path – how to proceed ON/ALONG my career path
An opportunity that not most students had – an opportunity most STUDENTS DID NOT HAVE
So after all this opportunities he gave me – so after all THESE opportunities he gave me
For what he did to me – (what he did TO me implies that he did something bad TO you – you are the victim) for what he did FOR me

Best wishes as you continue to practice!
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