[Writting 1st-A002] pls comment it, tks a lot

[ZackBigWhite]

The two maps illustrate the comparsion of development of school site from 2004 to 2010.

In 2004 , there were 4 constructions consisting of school, namely Two bulidings , one playground and Car Park.
We can see that from West to East , they were Car Park , two parallel bulidings and Playgound respectively.

When time shifted to 2010, the great development occurred in school site. First off , one corridor built up in order to conecting building 1 and buliding 2. What is more , the new building 3 was located to East of Bulding 1, and the location of former playground enlarged to be another new car park where there was a new bulit vehicle track reaching. The playground neastled to south of car park two was ampified its size from a round to larger square.

To sum up , it is obvious that the school site enlarged size and improved facilities with number of students rising from 600 to 1000 in 6 years.

[Flick]

The two maps illustrate the comparison of development of school site from 2004 to 2010.(<--Reword to: "The maps show the development of a school site between 2004 and 2010.")

In 2004 , there were 4 constructions consisting of school, namely Two bulidings , one playground and Car Park. (<--Reword to: "In 2004, there were four main areas. From west to east there was a car park, two buildings and a playground.")
We can see that from West to East, they were Car Park , two parallel bulidings and Playgound respectively.(<--Delete this sentence.)

When time shifted to 2010, the great development occurred in school site.(<--Reword to: "By 2010, the school population had increased from 600 to 1000 students, and several changes had taken place.") First off , one corridor built up in order to conecting building 1 and buliding 2.(<--Reword to: "A pathway connecting Building 1 to Building 2 was created.") What is more , the new building 3 was located to East of Bulding 1, and the location of former playground enlarged to be another new car park where there was a new bulit vehicle track reaching.(<--Reword to: "A third building was added east of Building 1 and the existing playground was converted into a second car park. A larger playground was added south of the second carpark.") The playground neastled to south of car park two was ampified its size from a round to larger square. (<--Delete this sentence.)

To sum up , it is obvious that the school site enlarged size and improved facilities with number of students rising from 600 to 1000 in 6 years.(<--Reword to: "As the school population increased, the size of the school was also increased to accommodate the greater population.")