Please Rate My Essay

[sos1947]

Will appreciate if you can give me feedback on topic vocab and grammar.
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Most people are going to universities these days than in the past, they start to work later in life with higher qualification. Do you think this a positive or a negative development

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Indubitably, education and new teaching methodologies have transformed people's work life. Undoubtedly, such transformation and scientific approach to solving problems would not have been possible if universities were still using the same old ways of teaching. Beyond a reasonable doubt, one can say that the university education has brought prosperity and value in individual's professional life and, therefore, one observes that today more people are inclined to complete their education before starting the career. Following, this essay will highlight some of the key developments that the university education has brought in one's life.

Firstly, today universities use new techniques and learning methods to enhance the capabilities of its students. Illustrating this, at universities the students are involved in the real world projects that require them to think and solve problems in an innovative way. Perhaps, this explains why graduate students at a job are able to surprise their employers by presenting multiple solutions to a problem. Needless to say, such training is hard to come unless the employee had completed his degree in some university. Thus, university education has a deep and profound effect on people's career.

Secondly, work life is not always about getting a task done, it is also about team collaboration, leadership qualities and clear communication. Clearly, one cannot learn these soft skills on their own by watching videos or reading books. Demonstrably, a university stresses in developing these skills by calling experts or conducting workshops. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, these skills not only elevate one's career but also helps companies to function smoothly. Therefore, one can state that university qualification can make a huge difference in one's profession.

Summing up, a university education can mould people to become better employees. Apparently, this explains why candidate's qualification has become an important criteria for selection nowadays. Considering the recent evidences, one may anticipate that this trend would only accelerate in future.

[Flick]

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Most people are going to universities these days than in the past, they start to work later in life with higher qualification. Do you think this a positive or a negative development?

------------

Indubitably, education and new teaching methodologies have transformed people's work life. Undoubtedly, such a transformation and scientific approach to solving problems would not have been possible if universities were still using the same old ways of teaching. Beyond a reasonable doubt, one can say that university education has brought prosperity and value to an individual's professional life and, therefore, one observes that today more people are inclined to complete their education before starting a career. Following, this essay will highlight some of the key developments that university education has brought into one's life.

Firstly, today universities use new techniques and learning methods to enhance the capabilities of its students. Illustrating this, at universities the students are involved in real world projects that require them to think and solve problems in an innovative way. This explains why graduate students at a job are able to surprise their employers by presenting multiple solutions to a problem. Needless to say, such training is hard to come by unless the employee has completed his degree at some university. Thus, a university education has a deep and profound effect on people's careers.

Secondly, work life is not always about getting a task done, it is also about team collaboration, leadership qualities and clear communication. Clearly, one cannot learn these soft skills on their own by watching videos or reading books. Demonstrably, a university stresses developing these skills by enabling students to have contact with experts or conducting workshops. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, these skills not only elevate one's career but also help companies to function smoothly. Therefore, one can state that a university qualification can make a huge difference in one's profession.

Summing up, a university education can mould people to become better employees. Apparently, this explains why candidate's qualifications have become an important criteria for selection nowadays. Considering recent evidence, one may anticipate that this trend will only accelerate in future.

[sos1947]

Flick really appreciate your help. I used to wonder when would you give my essay a try. Thank you for those wonderful corrections.

[bas]

Most of your sentences have the same structure; they start with a phrase followed by a comma. You need to use a variety of different sentence structures to score well so I would mix it up a bit.

[sos1947]

Appreciate your comments bas but right now my focus is to minimise grammatical mistakes. In spite of trying hard I tend to make these mistakes, grammar carries 1 pts which become a deciding factor once the writing scores goes beyond 6.5

[bas]

That's understandable, but don't forget that structures are graded in the same category as grammar. The combination of both carry 25% of your total band score.

Source: http://www.ielts.org/pdf/uobds_writingt2.pdf

[sos1947]

Thanks bas, I will keep that in mind, punctuations mistakes would be a tough bullet to dodge.