People today move to new cities or new countries more than ever before. What challenges do they experience? What strategies are there to meet these challenges?
Deciding where to live is choice for an individual to make. Despite the influx of people to move to new cities and nation compared from the past, people still faces numerous problems and in order to overcome these trials, a person needs to come up with a plan to decipher the challenges they face.
One of the problems that many people encounters when they travel to different countries is the language. Foreign language hinder their communication to the local residents, thus making a social ties with the residents of the country a nightmare for those who cannot speak their native tongue. For instance, an exchange student from a non-English speaking country will have a difficult time to socialize with its peers who are native english speakers. Therefore, language barrier is a deter for people to communicate to others. To counter these dilemma, immersing to the local people in the area, like going to a local restaurant and having a conversation to its inhabitants will result in having a good good grasp of the spoken language.
Furthermore, adapting to culture is also one of the common challenges a person will experience in a new area or city. Culture differs from one place to another. If an individual is accustomed to the customs where the person came from, it is unlikely that the new place where the individual will go will also have the same lifestyle that the person knew. For example, if a person who grew up in a rural area where it is a custom to go to church every Sunday, it will be a a different scenario to another city where going to church is not a common practice. To decipher this problem, an individual needs to be aware of the various culture that the place have like going to different museums and art gallery to supplement information regarding the culture and ways of people that live in a certain location
In conclusion, Both language barrier and culture present a problem for people deciding to move to a new location. To solve these problems, a person needs to socialize to different people to learn more about the language and visiting various establishment like museums and gallery will give a picture of information to understand the cultureof the people living in that area.
(41 minutes) Still improving to reduce the number of words.
Your views will be much more appreciated! Task 2
Re: Your views will be much more appreciated! Task 2
Hi kamots,
Your essay is very well organized and answers the task well. I have a few suggestions to improve your overall band score.
1) The biggest thing holding you back from a high band score is your grammar. I can understand what you are trying to say in most of your sentences but they could be worded a lot better through correct grammar and the vocabulary could be improved in a few areas as well. Unfortunately, I do not know an effective and efficient way of learning to write good grammar because English has been my primary language for most of my life. Hopefully someone else can shed some light in this area for you.
2) I would make your examples in your second and third paragraph more specific. Instead of saying non-English country or rural area, say a specific country like Japan or rural Finland. They do not have to be statistically true statements, just make them sound convincing enough to the reader. Since both of your examples are challenges, I would switch one example to be a solution to a challenge to make the essay more diverse. This should improve your task achievement band score.
3) Cohesion could be improved between the sentences. I would add more linking phrases between the some of the sentences, especially in the first half of the third paragraph.
4) Including an outline at the end of the introduction could improve cohesion between the paragraphs. However, some people say this is not required though.
5) Although not required, I would personally restructure the essay so that my first body paragraph discusses two challenges foreigners face and my second body paragraph would explain the strategies they could use to overcome them. That way, I could potentially come up with an example that fits both challenges I introduce and come up with another example that fits both solutions I present. However, I believe your organization is probably sufficient enough as long as you switch one of your examples from a challenge to a solution.
I hope my suggestions help you in preparing for the exam.
Bas
Your essay is very well organized and answers the task well. I have a few suggestions to improve your overall band score.
1) The biggest thing holding you back from a high band score is your grammar. I can understand what you are trying to say in most of your sentences but they could be worded a lot better through correct grammar and the vocabulary could be improved in a few areas as well. Unfortunately, I do not know an effective and efficient way of learning to write good grammar because English has been my primary language for most of my life. Hopefully someone else can shed some light in this area for you.
2) I would make your examples in your second and third paragraph more specific. Instead of saying non-English country or rural area, say a specific country like Japan or rural Finland. They do not have to be statistically true statements, just make them sound convincing enough to the reader. Since both of your examples are challenges, I would switch one example to be a solution to a challenge to make the essay more diverse. This should improve your task achievement band score.
3) Cohesion could be improved between the sentences. I would add more linking phrases between the some of the sentences, especially in the first half of the third paragraph.
4) Including an outline at the end of the introduction could improve cohesion between the paragraphs. However, some people say this is not required though.
5) Although not required, I would personally restructure the essay so that my first body paragraph discusses two challenges foreigners face and my second body paragraph would explain the strategies they could use to overcome them. That way, I could potentially come up with an example that fits both challenges I introduce and come up with another example that fits both solutions I present. However, I believe your organization is probably sufficient enough as long as you switch one of your examples from a challenge to a solution.
I hope my suggestions help you in preparing for the exam.
Bas
Re: Your views will be much more appreciated! Task 2
Hi bas!
Thanks for the tips. Im aiming for 7+ band score. Need to work more i guess hehe.
Thanks for the tips. Im aiming for 7+ band score. Need to work more i guess hehe.
Re: Your views will be much more appreciated! Task 2
Kamots,
Your essay could very well be a band 7, I am not sure. I am just very picky about writing ever since I started preparing for the IELTS hehe.
Regards,
Bas
Your essay could very well be a band 7, I am not sure. I am just very picky about writing ever since I started preparing for the IELTS hehe.
Regards,
Bas