Task 2 (target band 8+)

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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rigel
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:49 am

Task 2 (target band 8+)

Post by rigel »

Hello,
I would very much appreciate it you guys can have a look into my writing task 2, and give me some feedback.
What band do you think I ought to get? I marked the spelling mistakes my underlining them.

Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government , while others think that this is a good idea. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion.

The government institutions of any given country, are the most vital and essential components of the social and economic infrastructure. Quite naturally therefore, the question as to who are most suitable and capable for government positions , is an even more vital one.

Analyzing the argument ,which favors older personnel to be more suitable for each task; we quickly focus on the quintessential component of experience. After all, experience is what enables a person to be sagacious and be able to anticipate the unexpected. It is perfectly plausible to imagine a scenario where a critical situation can be brought under control, much quicker, by an individual with vast experience, compared to someone who is more qualified but less experienced; take for example an emergency medical situation.

The other popular belief is that the younger people are in fact more suited for government positions. This can quite easily be justified by the fact that what the younger generation lacks in experience, more than makes up for it with their enthusiasm and their more up to the date skill set and knowledge about their profession. This is particularly poignant in the field of computer science, where on average, the new technology replaces the old, every six years.

While it is quite natural to stress the importance of experience in older individuals, it is my opinion that vibrant energy that the young people bring with themselves is enough to overcome all odds that they may face in the workplace. Besides, sometimes all that is needed is a fresh perspective from outside the box.

(260 words)
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