Please evaluate my task 1 academic writing

[azil]

Below is the link for the task 1 topic and my essay as well

https://elt.oup.com/elt/students/ielts/ ... anguage=en

TASK 1 (ACADEMIC)

The line graph shows total value of fuel exports and selected exports like food, manufactured goods and fuel in an unnamed country for a five year period, from year 2000-2005.

In the first graph, it shows the value of total value of fuel of exports. It started with a 300,000 million dollars value on year 2000 which slightly dropped until year 2002. But from then on, a continuous and increasing trend of total fuel exports value can be seen on the graph that reached its highest value to a little less than 450,000 million dollars on year 2005.

Unlike total value of fuel exports which had a significant increase at the end of 5-year period, the value of selected export like fuel, consistently dropped from less than 50,000 million dollars in 2000 to its lowest value in 2005 of 20,000 million dollars. Value of manufactured goods was the sole export that gained an increase in value on year 2005. Approximately 15,000 million dollars was the starting value of manufactured goods on year 2000, then reached its first peak value to a little less than 30,000 million dollars after 2 years. A year after, the manufactured goods value flunked but regained its peak value again in year 2005. On the other hand, food export value remained stable in from 2000 – 2005 with a miniscule of fluctuations.

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TASK 1 (ACADEMIC)

The line graphs show the total value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exports in an unnamed country from 2000-2005.

In the first graph, the total value of fuel exports is recorded. It started with a 300,000 million dollars value on year 2000 which slightly dropped until year 2002.(<--Reword to: "In 2000, the value of fuel exports was three hundred million dollars. This steadily dropped to two hundred and fifty million dollars in 2002.") But from then on, a continuous and increasing trend of total fuel exports value can be seen on the graph that reached its highest value to a little less than 450,000 million dollars on year 2005.(<--Reword to: "The value increased to three hundred and fifty million dollars in 2003, then about three hundred and ninety million dollars in 2004, before reaching a total value of about four hundred and twenty five million dollars in 2005.")

Unlike the total value of fuel exports which had a significant increase at the end of 5-year period, the value of selected exports like fuel, consistently dropped from less than fifty million dollars in 2000 to its lowest value in 2005 of twenty million dollars. The value of manufactured goods was the sole export that gained in value by 2005. Approximately fifteen million dollars was the starting value of manufactured goods in 2000. After two years, manufactured goods were valued at a little less than thirty million dollars. A year later, the manufactured goods value dropped to twenty million dollars, but regained its peak value again in 2005. On the other hand, food export value remained stable from 2000 – 2005 with minor fluctuations.