In recent time, having a convenient way for public transportation is of vitally importance. This can be afforded by many ways but the metro is the most suitable one, especially within a big city. It is agreed that the metro is the best way to get around the city. In this essay, I will discus the important role of the metro on saving time and also health.
First of all, using public transportation, the metro in particular, definitely saves time, particularly in rush hour. For example, In London, in rush hour, travelling to your job’s place might take about 2 hours by a car and using the metro takes less than an hour. Therefore, it is clear that using public transportation in metropolis is the best way to save time. So, such an advantage seems justifiable to make the metro is the most convenient way for travelling around a big city.
Secondly, travelling on the metro may protect health. This can be achieved because using public transportation can minimize the huge amount of pollutions that are produced by private cars. Thus, encouraging people to use such transportation is essential to have a green city. Such makes using the metro is not only environmentally friendly but also crucial to protect the health of people.
In conclusion, saving time and health make using the metro is more convenient than other options of transportation. It is my belief that the metro is the best option to be convenient. The people who use public transport should be rewarded because not only they save our environment but also because they make the metro is popular.
Academic Task 2
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SyntaxFox
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Re: Academic Task 2
Hi fahey847, thanks for posting. I have read your essay, and I have some comments and advice for you.
Corrections are in red, and comments are in blue.
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In recent years, having a convenient way to get around (<-- This was worded awkwardly so I rephrased it.) is of vital importance. There are many different methods of public transport, (<-- Your sentence didn’t make sense, so I have reworded it.) but the metro is arguably the most suitable one, especially within a big city. (<-- Who ‘agrees’ that the metro is the best way to get around? Try to avoid sweeping statements that you can’t back up with facts. I removed the sentence, and added ‘arguably’ to show that it’s an opinion.) In this essay, I will discuss the important role of the metro in terms of saving time, and also its health benefits. (<-- It doesn’t make sense to say ‘save health’.)
Firstly, using public transport – the metro in particular – definitely saves time, particularly in rush hour. For example, during rush hour in London, (<-- There were too many commas, so I joined the phrases together to improve the flow.) travelling to your workplace might take about two (<-- You should write out numbers that are smaller than ten.) hours by car, while (<-- You are comparing different travel times, so it makes more sense to use ‘while’ rather than ‘and’.) using the metro takes less than an hour. Therefore, it is clear that using public transport is (<-- You don’t need to mention that it’s in a city here, because you mention it in the next sentence.) the best way to save time. This advantage means the metro (<-- There were too many words, making the sentence overly complicated. I have reworded it to make it more concise.) is the most convenient way to travel around a big city.
Secondly, travelling on the metro may protect health. Using public transport (<-- Again, there were too many words.) can minimise the huge amount of pollution that is (<-- ‘Pollution’ is a singular word, not plural.) produced by private cars. Thus, encouraging people to use such transportation is essential for a ‘green’ city. This means that (<-- This didn’t make sense, so I reworded it.) using the metro is not only environmentally friendly, but also an important part of protecting health. (<-- This was worded awkwardly. ‘Crucial’ is a good word, but using the metro isn’t ‘crucial’ for health – it’s just ‘important’.)
In conclusion, the benefits of (<-- I added this to make the sentence flow better.) saving time and improving health (<-- Again, you can’t ‘save health’.) meant that using the metro is better (<-- Improving people’s health has nothing to do with convenience.) than other methods of transportation. It is my belief that the metro is the most convenient option. (<-- I have reworded this to make it more concise, and to prevent repetition with the previous sentence.) The people who use public transport should be rewarded because not only do they save our environment, but also because they make the metro popular.
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My advice to you is to watch out for sentences that are too long. Being concise can demonstrate confidence with English. Try reading sentences out loud, or in your head, to check if they seem too long.
Also, don’t make sweeping statements unless you have facts to back them up. Saying that ‘everyone agrees with’ or ‘everyone believes’ something can make your writing sound inaccurate. It’s fine to state your opinion, but it’s important to make it clear that it’s your personal view.
Keep practising!
SyntaxFox
Corrections are in red, and comments are in blue.
----
In recent years, having a convenient way to get around (<-- This was worded awkwardly so I rephrased it.) is of vital importance. There are many different methods of public transport, (<-- Your sentence didn’t make sense, so I have reworded it.) but the metro is arguably the most suitable one, especially within a big city. (<-- Who ‘agrees’ that the metro is the best way to get around? Try to avoid sweeping statements that you can’t back up with facts. I removed the sentence, and added ‘arguably’ to show that it’s an opinion.) In this essay, I will discuss the important role of the metro in terms of saving time, and also its health benefits. (<-- It doesn’t make sense to say ‘save health’.)
Firstly, using public transport – the metro in particular – definitely saves time, particularly in rush hour. For example, during rush hour in London, (<-- There were too many commas, so I joined the phrases together to improve the flow.) travelling to your workplace might take about two (<-- You should write out numbers that are smaller than ten.) hours by car, while (<-- You are comparing different travel times, so it makes more sense to use ‘while’ rather than ‘and’.) using the metro takes less than an hour. Therefore, it is clear that using public transport is (<-- You don’t need to mention that it’s in a city here, because you mention it in the next sentence.) the best way to save time. This advantage means the metro (<-- There were too many words, making the sentence overly complicated. I have reworded it to make it more concise.) is the most convenient way to travel around a big city.
Secondly, travelling on the metro may protect health. Using public transport (<-- Again, there were too many words.) can minimise the huge amount of pollution that is (<-- ‘Pollution’ is a singular word, not plural.) produced by private cars. Thus, encouraging people to use such transportation is essential for a ‘green’ city. This means that (<-- This didn’t make sense, so I reworded it.) using the metro is not only environmentally friendly, but also an important part of protecting health. (<-- This was worded awkwardly. ‘Crucial’ is a good word, but using the metro isn’t ‘crucial’ for health – it’s just ‘important’.)
In conclusion, the benefits of (<-- I added this to make the sentence flow better.) saving time and improving health (<-- Again, you can’t ‘save health’.) meant that using the metro is better (<-- Improving people’s health has nothing to do with convenience.) than other methods of transportation. It is my belief that the metro is the most convenient option. (<-- I have reworded this to make it more concise, and to prevent repetition with the previous sentence.) The people who use public transport should be rewarded because not only do they save our environment, but also because they make the metro popular.
----
My advice to you is to watch out for sentences that are too long. Being concise can demonstrate confidence with English. Try reading sentences out loud, or in your head, to check if they seem too long.
Also, don’t make sweeping statements unless you have facts to back them up. Saying that ‘everyone agrees with’ or ‘everyone believes’ something can make your writing sound inaccurate. It’s fine to state your opinion, but it’s important to make it clear that it’s your personal view.
Keep practising!
SyntaxFox