Please evaluate my essay task 2

[asadurk]

Topic:
The advent of the Internet has made it possible for people to work from home. Write an essay looking at the advantages and disadvantages of this professional arrangement.

Essay
One of the miracle of the 20th century was internet, which has become more useful to the end user from the start of the 21st century. It’s very true by its nature that people can connect from each other with the help of internet, whether they are in different part of the world, that’s lead to an advantage that people can do their professional work from home, however, there are also some pitfalls too. Both advantages and disadvantages will be discuss in this essay.

Firstly, revolution of internet has some how changed the formal method in many fields, like marketing, sales, teaching and specially job style etc. Remote job is one of the beneficiaries of internet in which employee can work for the company by sitting at home. The nature of the remote job can save his travelling time and as well as through the currency change he can earn more than work from the local company.

On the other hand, the uprising of the internet also has few drawbacks, like through outsourcing the work from third world country, company can get the work done by paying less money, but in this way it’s homeland people can suffer for getting job, that might turn down the standard of living in company’s homeland.

Health specialist look this issue in relatively different aspect, they think that working from home can bring some health issue. They pointed out that, most of the remote worker do not exercise for fitness and they also believe that office work environment is also good for human psychology, that’s why they think that working from home is not good for human health.

In concluding, we believe that now this practice have some issues, due to lack of knowledge as it’s relatively new practice, as time passes government will bind companies to give balance job opportunities for local bodies and international bodies and when people learn from the research studies they’ll also show positive attitude to maintain their fitness.

[OnlineEnglishTeacher]

Grammar can improve a lot, as many errors - https://www.englishclub.com/grammar/index.htm that is a free site.

Topic:
The advent of the Internet has made it possible for people to work from home. Write an essay looking at the advantages and disadvantages of this professional arrangement.

Essay
One of the ("miracles") miracle of the 20th century was ("the") internet, which has become more useful to the end user from the start of the 21st century. ("Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is") It’s very true by its nature that people can connect ("to") from each other with the help of ("the") internet, ("even if") whether they are in different ("parts") part of the world, ("and that has") that’s lead to an advantage that people can do their professional work from home, however, there are also some pitfalls too. Both ("the") advantages and disadvantages will be ("discussed") discuss in this essay.

Firstly, ("the") revolution of ("the") internet has ("somehow") some how changed the formal method in many fields, like marketing, sales, teaching and specially job style(",") etc.(".") ("Needless to say, a") Remote job is one of the beneficiaries of ("the") internet ("by") in which ("an") employee can work for the company by sitting at home. The nature of the remote job can save ("their") his travelling time and as well (no "as") as through the currency change(", they") he can earn more than ("working") work from the local company.

On the other hand, the ("increase") uprising of the internet also has ("a") few drawbacks, like through outsourcing the work from ("a") third world country, ("a") company can get the work done by paying less money, but in this way ("its") it’s homeland people can suffer for getting ("a") job, that might ("decrease the") turn down the standard of living in ("a") company’s homeland.

Health ("specialists") specialist look ("at") this issue ("from a") in relatively different ("point of view") aspect, ("and") they think that working from home can bring some health issue. They pointed out(", that most") that, most of the remote ("workers") worker do not exercise for fitness and they also believe that ("the") office work environment is also good for human psychology, ("and") that’s why they think that working from home is not good for human health.

("Summning up") In concluding, we believe that now this practice ("has") have some issues, due to lack of knowledge as ("it is a") it’s relatively new practice, as time passes government will bind companies to give ("balanced") balance job opportunities for local bodies and international bodies and when people learn from the research studies(", they will") they’ll also show ("a") positive attitude to maintain their fitness.

[asadurk]

Thanks for evaluating and telling me about my mistakes. Can I get overall 6 in this essay?

[OnlineEnglishTeacher]

Thanks for evaluating and telling me about my mistakes. Can I get overall 6 in this essay?

Perhaps lower with some examiners.