Writing Task 1 - Academic (Graph-Brighton)

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
paperheart
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2014 1:02 pm

Writing Task 1 - Academic (Graph-Brighton)

Post by paperheart »

The line graph illustrates the proportion of visitors in England touring four different spots in Brighton from 1980 to 2010. The four venues are namely, Art Gallery, Pavilion, Pier and Festival.

In 1980, popular place like Festival attracted the most visitors at approximately 30%. The number of visitors were then slowed down gradually towards 21st century and remained stagnant at 28% in 2010. As for Pier, it was the least popular attraction spot for the tourists, whereby it only obtained 10% of the visitors in 1980. Despite being the last in the list, it managed to capture tourists with a steady rise from below 20% to above in 2010.

On the other hand, Art Gallery and Pavillion shared fluctuating trend pattern. Both started about 22% of visitors in 1980 and achieved the highest peak at 38% and 48% respectively in the 1980's and 1990's. In spite of this, the popularity of Art Gallery had fallen drastically to below 10% , whereas Pavillion overtook Festival to be the most popular spot in Brighton at 31% in 2010.
Attachments
Screen Shot 2015-05-10 at 4.08.02 PM.png
Screen Shot 2015-05-10 at 4.08.02 PM.png (483.84 KiB) Viewed 1426 times
Mondalch
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat May 09, 2015 6:27 am

Re: Writing Task 1 - Academic (Graph-Brighton)

Post by Mondalch »

paperheart wrote:The line graph illustrates the proportion of visitors in England touring four different spots in Brighton from 1980 to 2010. The four venues are namely, Art Gallery, Pavilion, Pier and Festival.

In 1980, popular place like Festival attracted the most visitors at approximately 30%. The number of visitors were then slowed down gradually towards 21st century and remained stagnant at 28% in 2010. As for Pier, it was the least popular attraction spot for the tourists, whereby it only obtained 10% of the visitors in 1980. Despite being the last in the list, it managed to capture tourists with a steady rise from below 20% to above in 2010.

On the other hand, Art Gallery and Pavillion shared fluctuating trend pattern. Both started about 22% of visitors in 1980 and achieved the highest peak at 38% and 48% respectively in the 1980's and 1990's. In spite of this, the popularity of Art Gallery had fallen drastically to below 10% , whereas Pavillion overtook Festival to be the most popular spot in Brighton at 31% in 2010.
Nicely done, all tasks achieved. I believe you should get somewhere around 8+

May be if Ryan can have a look, could give you a better feedback. All the best keep up the good work.
User avatar
Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Writing Task 1 - Academic (Graph-Brighton)

Post by Flick »

paperheart wrote:The line graph illustrates the proportion of visitors to England touring four popular attractions in Brighton from 1980 to 2010. The four venues are namely, Art Gallery, Pavilion, Pier, and Festival.

In 1980, the Festival attracted the most visitors at approximately 30%. The number of visitors were then slowed down gradually towards 21st century and remained stagnant at 28% in 2010.(<--Reword to: "This number dropped to about 28% in 1995 then 25% in 1990 before leveling out and remaining at 28% from 2000 onwards.") As for the Pier, it was the least popular attraction spot for the tourists, whereby it only obtained 10% of the visitors in 1980.(<--Reword to: "In 1980, the Pier was the least popular spot, attacting only 10% of visitors.") Despite being the last in the list, it managed to capture tourists with a steady rise from below 20% to above in 2010.(<--Reword to: "However, over the years, it increased in popularity, attracting about 22% of visitors by 2010.")

On the other hand, the Art Gallery and Pavilion shared a fluctuating pattern. Both started with about 22% of visitors in 1980 and achieved the highest peak at 38% and 48% respectively in the 1980's and 1990's. In spite of this, the popularity of the Art Gallery has fallen drastically to below 10%, whereas the Pavilion overtook the Festival to be the most popular spot in Brighton at 31% in 2010.
Post Reply