Confused with the introduction

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Urahara
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Confused with the introduction

Post by Urahara »

Shops should not be allowed to sell food or drinks that are scientifically proven to be bad for health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Can somebody suggest a good introduction to this topic. I am confused which part to address , the shops or the food in the intro. :? :? :?
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OnlineEnglishTeacher
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Re: Confused with the introduction

Post by OnlineEnglishTeacher »

Urahara wrote:
Shops should not be allowed to sell food or drinks that are scientifically proven to be bad for health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Can somebody suggest a good introduction to this topic. I am confused which part to address , the shops or the food in the intro. :? :? :?
"Nowadays, there is much debate about the health of nations and in particular whether outlets should be permitted to offer items that in fact have little nourishment. Looking from the one perspective, it is evident that in any country many things are sold which are not beneficial, such as cigarettes. Considering the other point of view, it is also true that as a society we should be trying to remove such items from retailers and this would also logically include food and drink items. Clearly, this is a key controversial topic for the times that we live in."

Read another example: "http://www.onlineenglishteacher.org/stu ... gree-essay".
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Re: Confused with the introduction

Post by Username »

Ryan suggests that question words have to be included in the introduction paragraph rather than paraphrasing the question? The other teachers suggest paraphrasing, 'cause we can lose marks if we use exactly same words as question words... Do we lose marks or not if don't paraphrasing question words?
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Re: Confused with the introduction

Post by Username »

Sorry, Ryan suggests paraphrasing as well... However, he gives the advice to not paraphrase thesis (3rd sentence in Introduction paragraph). I wonder if using same words as question ones could influence the mark?!?
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OnlineEnglishTeacher
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Re: Confused with the introduction

Post by OnlineEnglishTeacher »

Username wrote:Ryan suggests that question words have to be included in the introduction paragraph rather than paraphrasing the question? The other teachers suggest paraphrasing, 'cause we can lose marks if we use exactly same words as question words... Do we lose marks or not if don't paraphrasing question words?
Personally, I recommend paraphrasing as many key words in the questions as possible, as think that is likely to show the examiner a more comprehensive vocabulary, as opposed to copying the exam's vocabulary - however I have read success information from those copying Ryan's techniques, so it might not necessarily preclude getting a high score.
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Re: Confused with the introduction

Post by Username »

Thanx for answer. I agree with you. However, thesis is the most important sentence in essay and wrong synonym could make thesis diffrent than one we try to state. I supose that is the reason why Ryan suggest to not change the question words.
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Re: Confused with the introduction

Post by Username »

1 more question :) Some instruct that personal pronouns must be avoided, even when questions asks Do we agree or not agree with something, to sound more academic and get higher mark... however, some suggest the opposite.
I am not sure that we would answered directly if we using only passive forms. What do you think?
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Re: Confused with the introduction

Post by OnlineEnglishTeacher »

Username wrote:1 more question :) Some instruct that personal pronouns must be avoided, even when questions asks Do we agree or not agree with something, to sound more academic and get higher mark... however, some suggest the opposite.
I am not sure that we would answered directly if we using only passive forms. What do you think?
There may not necessarily be always a "right or wrong" strategy - I usually teach to give a personal opinion in the last paragraph such as: "http://www.onlineenglishteacher.org/stu ... gree-essay" (so long as it would not hypothetically be inappropriate for a question that might preclude it).
Last edited by OnlineEnglishTeacher on Mon May 18, 2015 1:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Confused with the introduction

Post by Username »

Thanx, again! I would use "I" in Discussion essay in the same manner as you do. When we have to give answer in Argument essay, I would, additionally, use "I" in Introduction paragraph as well... In the rest of the essay, I would use only passive sentences (except if is asked for personal example).
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