Please evaluate my task 2 essay (Academic)

[Matilda]

Hi guys,
Please provide any comments and feedbacks on the following essay. I tried to use complex structure but it seems not working.

Regards,
Matilda

With the availability of information on the Internet, public libraries are no longer necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Nowadays, internet has been easily accessible in every parts of the globe. With the help of this advanced technology, the required information is readily available with a mere click in a search engine called Google or Yahoo. As a result, many people put forward their argument that internet can wholly substitute the functions of public libraries. However, I do not subscribe to this view as the following values and benefits can only be provided by preserving the conventional hub of information, namely public library.

One would say that the information acquired from internet is not always reliable, mainly due to the inherent difficulty in identifying the actual source. In addition to that, people can even find some contradictory information from different websites. As there are a lot of rooms to commit manipulation of information in electronic media, dishonest people with social or political motives can distribute toxic news to make chaos in the society. Even though there is no governing body for the news on the internet, all the published materials are generally under control, being able to verify the contents either by publisher or the relevant authority.

Furthermore, students are still in need of public libraries where they can not only collect the required information but also access to the best environment for their concentration. In addition to that, they can also use group study rooms in public libraries to prepare for their exams or presentations. From recent survey done in UK, more than half of students population prefer to study in public libraries with silent atmosphere rather than at their hassled own space.

To conclude, based on the above mentioned factors, public libraries are still vital for our future generation. So, I strongly propose that these public facilities should be maintained and upgraded by the authorities concerned.
Word counts : 300

[terry3218]

Nice essay. One thing though, Ryan is of opinion that you should avoid personal pronouns like I,we,our to make your writing sound more academic.

[Flick]

With the availability of information on the Internet, public libraries are no longer necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Nowadays, the Internet is easily accessible in most parts of the globe. With the help of this advanced technology, any required information is readily available with a mere click in a search engine such as Google or Yahoo. As a result, many people put forward the argument that the Internet can wholly substitute the functions of public libraries. However, I do not subscribe to this view as the following values and benefits can only be provided by preserving the conventional hub of information, namely the public library.

The information acquired from the Internet is not always reliable, mainly due to the inherent difficulty in identifying the actual source. In addition to this, people often find contradictory information from different websites. As there is a lot of room to manipulate information in electronic media, dishonest people with social or political motives can distribute toxic news to create chaos in the society. Even though there is no governing body for the news on the Internet, all published materials are generally under control, with the contents being verified either by publisher or the relevant authority.

Furthermore, students are still in need of public libraries where they can not only collect the required information but also access the best environment for their concentration. In addition to that, they can also use group study rooms in public libraries to prepare for their exams or presentations. From a recent survey carried out in the UK, more than half of students prefer to study in public libraries with a silent atmosphere rather than in their own, distracting space.

To conclude, based on the above mentioned factors, public libraries are still vital for our future generations. So, I strongly propose that these public facilities should be maintained and upgraded by the authorities concerned.

[Matilda]

Thanks terry and Flick for your kind evaluation on my essay.

I will try not to use personal pronouns and avoid grammatical errors. Thanks heap guys.

Matilda