Some believe that global warming is the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Ever since the dawn of industrialization, world’s environment has been changing in a drastic manner. Many of these changes are of negative nature. Some argue that global warming is the most serious environmental issue that we deal with, while others contend deforestation has a much more damaging impact on the earth’s environment. Both sides of this debate will be analyzed in this essay before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
On the one hand, global warming has raised the average temperature of earth by several degrees over the last few centuries, which has a myriad of negative ramifications for the inhabitants of the planet earth. For example, continual rising of sea levels has put cities such as London, UK and Rotterdam, Netherlands on the brink of being drowned by deluges. As a result, governments have to devise new measures to keep such disasters from wiping out these cities entirely. Hence, it is argued that global warming is the most serious problem our planet encounters.
On the other hand, many believe out of all the ecological problems, deforestation leaves the largest environmental footprint on earth. For instance, each year thousands of trees are being cut down in China to fuel the furnaces in industries to support their economy, which in turn has disturbed the balance of carbon dioxide in the environment. Since carbon dioxide is a toxic gas, the respiratory problems in China have reached an exorbitant level in the recent decades. When looking at the discussion in this light, the devastating effects of deforestation are obvious.
Since both sides of this argument have indisputable virtues, it is impossible to say that one issue leads to more problems than the other. Thus, it is hoped that both the individuals and governments will take noticeable steps to counter the rising ecological hardships, this world is facing.
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Kindly critique my essay, target band 8
Re: Kindly critique my essay, target band 8
Hi, terry!
It's been truly enjoyable to read such the elaborate writing!
Indeed a good job!
If you allow me to add some critique, please, note:
1) In 'Introduction' you never say what exactly will be looked at (I mean a brief content of your paragraphs is expected here or at least the main ideas). I'd not insist it is any bad thing, but this is a little bit beyond the Methodology that says that '...when your IELTS examiner reads
the introduction to your essay, they should already know exactly what the rest of your essay will
look like.'. © Ryan
2) Your conclusions are often have only 2 sentences instead of 3, as most guidances suggest. Seemingly, either 'Summary' sentence or 'Restatement' sentence is omitted. Again I don't know for sure if it would count against you. I'd add this to the beginning of the conclusion:
'In summary, the impact of both deforestation and global warming has been inspected.'
I'm not an expert, I just try to follow some expert directions, so sometimes I can either misunderstand things or even can be totally wrong.
It's been truly enjoyable to read such the elaborate writing!
Indeed a good job!
If you allow me to add some critique, please, note:
1) In 'Introduction' you never say what exactly will be looked at (I mean a brief content of your paragraphs is expected here or at least the main ideas). I'd not insist it is any bad thing, but this is a little bit beyond the Methodology that says that '...when your IELTS examiner reads
the introduction to your essay, they should already know exactly what the rest of your essay will
look like.'. © Ryan
2) Your conclusions are often have only 2 sentences instead of 3, as most guidances suggest. Seemingly, either 'Summary' sentence or 'Restatement' sentence is omitted. Again I don't know for sure if it would count against you. I'd add this to the beginning of the conclusion:
'In summary, the impact of both deforestation and global warming has been inspected.'
I'm not an expert, I just try to follow some expert directions, so sometimes I can either misunderstand things or even can be totally wrong.
Re: Kindly critique my essay, target band 8
As for introduction, Ryan says when we're discussing two views (i.e a discussion essay not an argument essay), don't divulge what's your opinion until in conclusion paragraph. So I'm religiously following that advice.Gelever wrote:Hi, terry!
It's been truly enjoyable to read such the elaborate writing!
Indeed a good job!
If you allow me to add some critique, please, note:
1) In 'Introduction' you never say what exactly will be looked at (I mean a brief content of your paragraphs is expected here or at least the main ideas). I'd not insist it is any bad thing, but this is a little bit beyond the Methodology that says that '...when your IELTS examiner reads
the introduction to your essay, they should already know exactly what the rest of your essay will
look like.'. © Ryan
2) Your conclusions are often have only 2 sentences instead of 3, as most guidances suggest. Seemingly, either 'Summary' sentence or 'Restatement' sentence is omitted. Again I don't know for sure if it would count against you. I'd add this to the beginning of the conclusion:
'In summary, the impact of both deforestation and global warming has been inspected.'
I'm not an expert, I just try to follow some expert directions, so sometimes I can either misunderstand things or even can be totally wrong.
You're right about conclusion, but then again I've read several dozen essays by Ryan himself and many times the restatement of two points of views is omitted from them. So I guessed, it wouldn't hurt to omit them in my essays at times.
Nonetheless, thanks for the positive feedback and honest suggestions.