please mark my essay ( targeting band 6.5)

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
tuananhchau
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2015 11:22 am
Contact:

please mark my essay ( targeting band 6.5)

Post by tuananhchau »

Topic: Advances in science and technology have solved many problems. However, they also created new problems. Discuss some of the new problems caused by technological advancement and give your opinion on how they should be dealt with.

Now people are begining to realise that advances in scientific and technical aspects have not only tackled many problems but also caused new issues. This essay shall look into some of the problems and give possible solutions.

There is no denying that technology and science has brought so many advantages for our lives as well as means in order to solve many problems from the smallest to the global-scale. Yet for all their benefits, new headaches have been sparked. Firstly, unemployment is one of the biggest downsides of this modern revolution. For instance, automatic manufacturing lines can replace hundreds of workers in a factory which make many people become unemployable. Added in more, industrial mass production run by automatic assembly also release noxious chemicals such as toxic gases which damage the soil and water environment as well as animals’ habitants. Secondly, the greenhouse effect originating from vast industrialization has caused climate change, long-term drought or rising in temparature, all of which are human’s disasters.

There are some solutions in order to tackle these problems. First of all, man’s efficiency and output in perfoming works should be mainly focused on instead of robotic production chains by maintaining a stable number of staffs working in factories, this can reduce the dependence on technology. Secondly, goverment should encourage more eco-friendly technological or scientific projects in order to protect the environment. In addition, technology and science themselves also need to rapidly develop, to replace harmful products with new unthreaten ones.

In conclusion, it is undoubted that the advent of technological era has brought so many advantages and addressed many issues for our lives. Nevertheless, these innovations has also threatened our environment and the way people live with unpredictably arising problems.
User avatar
Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: please mark my essay ( targeting band 6.5)

Post by Flick »

tuananhchau wrote:Topic: Advances in science and technology have solved many problems. However, they also created new problems. Discuss some of the new problems caused by technological advancement and give your opinion on how they should be dealt with.

Now people are begining to realise that advances in scientific and technical aspects have not only tackled many problems but also caused new issues. This essay shall look into some of the problems and give possible solutions.

There is no denying that technology and science has brought many advantages into our lives as well as the means to solve many problems from the smallest to those on a global-scale. Yet for all their benefits, new headaches have been sparked. Firstly, unemployment is one of the biggest downsides of this modern revolution. For instance, automatic manufacturing lines can replace hundreds of workers in a factory, which makes many people unemployable. In addition, industrial mass production run by automatic assembly also releases noxious chemicals such as toxic gases which damage the soil and water as well as animals’ habitats. Secondly, the greenhouse effect originating from vast industrialization has caused climate change, long-term drought and rising temparatures, all of which are human disasters.

There are some solutions in order to tackle these problems. First of all, man’s efficiency and output in perfoming work should be mainly focused on maintaining a stable number of staff working in factories instead of robotic production chains. This can reduce dependence on technology. Secondly, governments should encourage more eco-friendly technological or scientific projects in order to protect the environment. In addition, technology and science themselves also need to rapidly develop to replace harmful products with new, safe ones.

In conclusion, it is undoubted that the advent of the technological era has brought so many advantages and addressed many issues in our lives. Nevertheless, these innovations have also threatened our environment and the way people live with unpredictably arising problems.
tuananhchau
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2015 11:22 am
Contact:

Re: please mark my essay ( targeting band 6.5)

Post by tuananhchau »

thank you so much for your reply but can my essay reach to Ielts 6.5 band score?
Post Reply