I've rewritten my past letters that were corrected by Flick earlier.
I've added some details, specific vocabulary and structure as Ryan suggested.
I hope I didn't add too many new grammatical mistakes.
I hope these deserve Band 7+.
All the suggestions would be highly appreciated!
IELTS 8.2
You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter
- Describe the problem with the equipment
- Explain what happened when you phoned the shop
- Say what you would like the manager to do
Dear sir or madam,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the microwave oven LG MS204 I purchased at your store three days ago. Allow me elaborate on why I am so upset.
You see, as I ordered it online, I did not have a chance to examine the equipment. I was shocked to hear an unpleasant racket coming from the inside when I plugged it in to prepare some food, which is not common for this equipment. When I called the store, a shop assistant told me that I would have to take the oven to a service center to be diagnosed within 5-7 days, and refused to replace it immediately. Unfortunately, I cannot wait for so long as I need the item urgently before it is my parents’ 20th wedding anniversary.
I am expecting you to consider all the possibilities to replace my purchase or give a complete refund immediately. I have already decided if you do not take any steps to resolve the issue I will consider this as a fraud and complain to Bureau of Consumer Protection.
Anticipating prompt results,
Andreas.
Total: 175
IELTS 9.2
On a recent holiday you lost a valuable item. Fortunately you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter
- describe the item you lost
- explain how you lost it
- tell the insurance company what you would like them to do?
Dear Sir or Madam,
I’m writing to inform you that I lost my camera Olympus OM-D that I had taken out insurance on with your company. Allow me to describe the entire circumstances for you.
The item was in an excellent condition with only a minor scratching on the display. Seemingly, I lost the camera while I was visiting one of the local parks in the neighbourhood of my hotel ‘Beach Resort’ in Chania (Crete, Greece) on July 3, 2015. I clearly remember to have taken the device with me on the excursion, but when I arrived back at the hotel there was only two hours left before my flight back home. I was in quite a hurry and did not check whether I packed my camera. Afterwards, I tried to contact the hotel staff but unfortunately they failed to suggest me anything.
Based on the terms of my insurance policy #978546 that covers anything lost, I would like you to make a refund of $2000 equal to the price of my lost camera. I hope you will do your best to reimburse my loss.
Anticipating prompt reply,
Andreas.
Total: 181
Letters 3, 4 are coming ...
Thank you for your attention!
Perhaps about cooking... don't remember fro sure..