please grade my essay (Academic writing)

[sertonima]

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Since the times when the law became a vital element of community existence, people have started following passed rules and being responsible for the actions they accomplished. Being an instrument of society regulation over the globe, the crime policy still remains under discussion. While some people are of the view that punishment for the same types of crime shouldn’t be different, others believe that measures of sentence can vary according to the individual case. In my essay I am going to investigate both sides of this issue and suggest my own opinion.

On the one hand, referring to the constitution, all people are equal in their rights and responsibilities. It gives evidence that punishments for each type of crimes should be fixed independently of the reasons and consequences. This approach to imposition of sentence strengthens the idea of human equality and demonstrates the whole seriousness of crime commission. Furthermore, constant punishments can allow to reduce the amount of expenses the government spends on conducting the suits and supporting jury trial.

On the other hand, there are a huge number of factors that mustn’t be left without suitable investigation before imposing the punishment. For instance, whether a crime was intentional or was committed accidentally, a low was broken by responsible person or by individual with mental disorder, whether a defendant acted alone or with culpable participants. All these circumstances should be definitely considered during the process of verdict passing. Otherwise, the possibilities to be unjustly convicted and punished will increase.

My conclusion is that only by considering all the facts, circumstances and individual purposes and motivations, the fair sentence will be imposed.

[herreradavid1]

Hi sertonima.
Please find below my corrections

1)

people have started following passed rules and being responsible for the actions they accomplished

I would say: and taking responsibility for for the crimes they committed. (or for the actions the did)

2)

this issue and suggest my own opinion.

I think you "give" an opinion instead of "suggest"

3) You should not use contractions like "mustn’t" in IELTS exam

4)

a low was broken by responsible person or by individual with mental disorder

a law was broken by a responsible person or by an individual with mental disorder

[Maha]

In some countries, criminal trials in the law courts are shown on television so that the general public can watch. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?


In some countries, the mass media plays a significant role show criminal trials to the general public and also to make people follow to each detail.
In my opinion, I believe that some trials are important to be shown whilst other trials are better to be secret. To make a trial public or secret,it depends on the type of a crime and who a criminal is. In general, I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because of many reasons.

The major reason of broadcasting public trials is to show that there are laws and you have to obey them, otherwise you will be punished and, possibly, prisoned. Moreover, some trials must be show on television because the public has the right to keep an eye on what happens in the court. For instance, the Egyptian president trial was a critical event which people were interested in watching every minute. In addition, it was necessary to make people calm down through watching
the trial.

On the other hand, some trials should be secret because during these trials there are private and personal specifics, or these trials may reveal some facts that can finally result in a danger for one's life. Furthermore, if the procedure of a trial is unfair, people might incite riots against this injustice and there would be outrage in the streets. Especially, if the prisoner is a VIP or public figure, his appearance with this these clothes as a prisoner may make his supporters furious. Therefore, in many cases trials without the mass media are preferable than trials that we can watch with all their details on television.

On the whole, all these reasons explain the merits and demerits of public and secret trials. In spite of the drawbacks of public trials in the law courts,the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because a criminal has to be punished in public.