Writing task 1 Hope someone can improve this Bar chart essay

[Anna2198]

The bar chart compares the expenditure on three items among citizens aged from 0 to 75+ in the UK in 2004.

A steady upward spending trend in food and drink can be seen as the age increased. People under 30 years old spent 5% of their budget while people aged from 30 to 45 spent 13% of the total expenditure. The proportion kept increasing and grew into 23% for people aged above 75.

Similarly, it witnessed a rising spending trend on restaurant and hotel for groups from 0 to 75. The percentage grew from approximately 7% to 23% but finally dropped to 13% in 75+ group.

However, an opposite consuming trend can be observed on entertainment. People under 30 were the group who spent the most, around 14%, whereas people from 30 to 75 spent lower but the same percentage of total spending-13%. People above 75 spent least on entertainment – about 7%.

[Flick]

The bar chart compares the expenditure on three items among citizens aged from 0 to 75+ in the UK in 2004.

A steady upward trend on food and drink spending can be seen as the age increased. People under 30 years old spent 5% of their budget, while people aged from 30 to 45 spent 13% of their total expenditure. The proportion kept increasing and grew into 23% for people aged above 75.

However, it witnessed a falling level of spending on restaurant and hotel for groups from under 30 to 75. The percentage dropped from approximately 14% to 12% for the groups aged under 30 to 60-75 before dropping again to 7% in the 75+ group.

As with food and drink, there was an upward trend in spending on entertainment as age increased. People under 30 were the group who spent the least, around 7%. Spending in each group rose to 8%, 14% and 22% respectively, until those aged 75 and over, who spent only 13% of their budget on entertainment.

You mixed up the restaurant and hotel spending with the entertainment spending.