My task 2 will get how many bands ? plz look and write score for me!

[alia]

Many people think that public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their money on expensive hi-tech media, such as software, DVDs or videos. Do you agree or disagree?
Public libraries serve as a center of storing books, journals and magazines that are related to various domains, like history, science, arts, architecture and technology and nowadays most of the nations have modernized their libraries by rendering them with modern and digital technology media, which not only assist people to have quick access to specific information they need, but also display videos through DVDs or computers. Nonetheless, In my opinion, public libraries should not contain hi-tech media.

To begin with, digital media is high-priced and this will bring extra cost. As a result, high budget will be needed to advance public libraries. For instance, purchasing DVDs and software, computers and laptops, in large amount for the public libraries are not inexpensive. In addition to this, extra space is required to accommodate them in libraries. Meanwhile, operators should be kept for these media to handle them. That is why, public libraries should not contain such media.
Secondly, when most people are surfing on internet through computer, their mind is diverted from reading. As a result, they get involved in unnecessary searching. For example, even entering into the study sites on internet, brings more advertisement with themselves. These promotions are mainly on shopping and upcoming fashions and every person desires to follow such fashions, which may also lead to unneeded shopping. Moreover students may indulge in pornography or watching movies online which will ultimately destroy their future and beliefs.
Taking these points into consideration, I would say that digital libraries benefit slightly and they are helpful to get quick access to your query but their drawbacks outweigh over advantages , as they are expensive , necessitate more space and operators and people are hard to focus on study . Therefore hi-tech media should not include in public libraries.

[jacklincicily]

helo Alia,i would definitely give you overall 7 band for your essay.However,i could find a few grammatical errors and repetition of some words such as ''as a result'',But it is reall gud to use variety of cohesive devices and strong topic sentence in the beginning of your bodyparagraph.continue working hard.

[alia]

thank you so much . I will try my best to eradicate my errors .