GT Writing Task 1 - Review needed

[ramani56in]

Q: Write a reply letter to your team manager who has asked for improvement plans to make your company success.

You can write what is needed
How you intend to do it (means of doing) ;
how it will improve success of company.

Dear Mr. Roberto,

I read your email (dated 26/07/2015) with great interest, which asks for strategy that needs to be implemented in order to take our company to next level in market. First of all, your email has given us a sense of inclusiveness in the company. In my opinion, we need to implement a better marketing strategy and improve marketing skills of all employees.

These days presence of a company need to be felt in market to gain projects. In our company, we have a strong Engineering team which understands the needs of customers and they do make lot of improvisations to the product and service offering to meet their expectation. Our Human resource department ; Information & Communication Technology (ICT) ; Finance team & procurement team jointly contribute much to our company. But the area where we lack is exhibiting our company to potential clients. We need to build the confidence and trust of our prospective customers.

We need to implement a good marketing strategy. We have to hire an individual who has expertise and competency in this area. In addition to that, cross cultural training needs to be imparted to all employees. Since we deal a lot with international customers, appreciating each other’s culture is important to communicate sensibly. This will help team members to communicate efficiently to different departments of our clients.

Hope to see a good marketing strategy implemented in our company shortly, that benefits the company and all employees. Thanks for the opportunity provided to express our views.

Yours faithfully,

[Flick]

Q: Write a reply letter to your team manager who has asked for improvement plans to make your company success.

You can write what is needed
How you intend to do it (means of doing);
how it will improve success of company.

Dear Mr. Roberto,

I read your email (dated 26/07/2015) with great interest, which asks for strategy that needs to be implemented in order to take our company to next level in market.(<--Reorder to: " I read your email (dated 26/07/2015), which asks for strategy that needs to be implemented in order to take our company to next level in market, with great interest.") First of all, your email has given us a sense of inclusiveness in the company.(<--Delete this sentence. It takes attention away from the purpose of your letter.) In my opinion, we need to implement a better marketing strategy and improve the marketing skills of all employees.

These days, the presence of a company needs to be felt in the market to gain projects. In our company, we have a strong Engineering team which understands the needs of ourcustomers, so they make lot of improvements to our products and services to meet customer expectations. Our Human resource department; Information & Communication Technology; Finance team & procurement team jointly contribute much to our company. But the area in which we lack is exhibiting our company to potential clients. We need to build the confidence and trust of our prospective customers.

We need to implement a good marketing strategy. We have to hire an individual who has expertise and competency in this area. In addition to that, cross cultural training needs to be imparted to all employees. Since we deal a lot with international customers, appreciating each other’s culture is important to communicate sensibly. This will help team members to communicate efficiently to different departments and our clients.

I hope to see a strong marketing strategy implemented in our company shortly, that benefits the company and all employees. Thanks for the opportunity provided to express our views.

Yours faithfully,

[ramani56in]

Dear Flick,

Thanks for your review. I really appreciate your efforts and time spent for me.

I am aware that i need to improve in various counts and i am working on it.

Could you please advice, the band that i can expect in IELTS with present proficiency.

Thanks & Regards
Ram