Kindly Evaluate my task 1 and suggest which band this would fit in

[muthu]

Question : You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter,
- explain why you want to take time off work
- give details of the amount of time you need
- suggest how your work could be covered while you are away.


Answer:
Dear Ravi,

I'm writing in regards to request some time off work next month.

I've a very important function that I must attend to. My parent's 60th anniversary falls on 14th august. As you see, it is a family function , and everyone from my family will attend this function, and I, as a son, would like to say a big thanks to my mom and dad on this eventful day for all that care they've shown throughout my life. And also, I would like to meet some of my kith and kin, whom I haven't met for years, during this function and catchup with their life events. So, I would like to take off from 12th august to 15th august.
I've a very light schedule , during that time, to meet with some of our clients to explain about our products. I've already requested my colleague mr.shankar about the work that he has to take up. And he readily accepted my request to meetup with clients on my behalf and cover up any unintended work during that time.
Looking forward to your positive response.

yours sincerely
xyz.

[Flick]

Question : You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter,
- explain why you want to take time off work
- give details of the amount of time you need
- suggest how your work could be covered while you are away.


Answer:
Dear Ravi,

I'm writing in regards to request some time off work next month.(<--Reword to: "I'm writing to request some time off work next month.")

I've a very important function that I must attend. My parent's 60th anniversary falls on 14th August. As you see, it is a family function , and everyone from my family will attend this function, and I, as a son, would like to say a big thanks to my mom and dad on this eventful day for all that care they've shown throughout my life.(<--Reword to: "This is a very important event for my parents, and my whole family will be attending.") And also, I would like to meet some of my kith and kin, whom I haven't met for years, during this function and catchup with their life events.(<--Delete this sentence, it doesn't add to the message. The important thing is the anniversary.) I would like to take off from 12th august to 15th august.(<--Reword to: "I would like to take the 12th to the 15th of August off to spend time with my family for this important celebration.")

I've a very light schedule during that time. I only have a few meetings scheduled with some of our clients to discuss our products. I've already requested my colleague, Mr Shankar, to cover those meetings for me, and he has readily accepted.

Looking forward to your positive response.

Yours sincerely,
xyz.