Kindly assess my writing task 1

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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n0m4n
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:16 pm

Kindly assess my writing task 1

Post by n0m4n »

The graph shows the total number of minutes used for Local – fixed line, National and International – fixed line and mobile phone calls in the UK between 1995 and 2002. It can be clearly seen that International and national – fixed line and mobile phone calling trend increased throughout the period and number of minutes used in local – fixed line calls were always higher than other two categories while mobile phone calls were always on lower side throughout the period.

According to the data, 72 billion minutes were used in local – fixed line calls in 1995. This figure gradually increased until 1999 to a peak of 90 billion minutes. What followed this was a gradual drop occurred until 2002 when local – fixed line calling figures hit the same figures of 1995 (72 billion minutes).

38 billion minutes were used by International and national – fixed line calls in 1995 and this figure increased gradually throughout the period and reached at 61 billion minutes. There was just 2.5 billion minutes of mobile phone calls in 1995 and this number increased mildly to 9 billion in next 3 years. This upward progression is then accelerated modestly and reached at 45 billion minutes in 2002.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Kindly assess my writing task 1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!
Generally, this is a good report. I notice that you have put the introduction together with the overall trend. It's not my favorite way of doing things, but in IELTS it is completely fine. There is a good range of structures and not many grammar mistakes. There is an obvious vocab error in the final sentence, since the increase is not 'modest'!
Well done!
David
n0m4n
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:16 pm

Re: Kindly assess my writing task 1

Post by n0m4n »

Thanks David for evaluating my writing!

I think 'accelerated sharply' will be the correct word to use in final sentence.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Kindly assess my writing task 1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Nice! D
pappachansindu
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2015 7:36 pm

Re: Kindly assess my writing task 1

Post by pappachansindu »

Can gradually inclined be use?

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