Pls assess my essay task1

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pappachansindu
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Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2015 7:36 pm

Pls assess my essay task1

Post by pappachansindu »

The chart below shows the total number of minutes in billions of telephone calls in the UK, divided into 3 categories from 1995 to 2002

The chart shows the total amount of three different types of calls made over a period of 1995 to 2002.
During the years 1995 to 1999,the landline calls in the UK increased dramatically from 70 billion minutes to 90 billions, which was the highest trend shown in all the years It gradually came parallel to the 1995 figures in the year 2002.
The national and international fixed lines were the second highest calls in the UK, shown in the bar chart, starting from 35 billion in the year1995 which steadily increased to 60 billion in 2000. Whereas, it came to a standstill till the year 2002.
The mobile calls were the lowest trends shown in the chart. It started roughly with only 3 billion in 1995 while it gradually increased to 12 billion minutes in 1999. These figures tripled to 45 billion at the end.
To sum up, the landline calls were the most popular during the years while the national and international, as well as, the mobile calls picked up at the second half of the period from 1999 to 2002.

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Last edited by pappachansindu on Mon Nov 23, 2015 8:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
pappachansindu
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2015 7:36 pm

Re: Pls assess my essay task1

Post by pappachansindu »

Sorry Writing task 1

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pappachansindu
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2015 7:36 pm

Re: Pls assess my essay task1

Post by pappachansindu »

Screenshot_2015-11-23-12-45-25.jpeg
Image

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pappachansindu
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2015 7:36 pm

Re: Pls assess my essay task1

Post by pappachansindu »

Is this site working ?

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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Re: Pls assess my essay task1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!
Overall, not bad, but beware of some strange phrasing.
1. highest trend
2. came parallel to - returned to the same level
3. second highest calls - second highest call time
4. came to a standstill - leveled off?
5. gradually increased? - that's a massive increase in 4 years!
All the best,
David
pappachansindu
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2015 7:36 pm

Re: Pls assess my essay task1

Post by pappachansindu »

Thks so much sir. Should I use these phrases which you have suggested

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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Pls assess my essay task1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Yes, they are just a few suggestions for improved language.
D
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