My Essay Needs To Be Assessed! Urgent ))

[jazira]

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a well known fact that many companies and organizations are managed by older people; however there is a recent tendency to think that younger people should substitute them. I fundamentally disagree with this point of view and I will set forth an argument to support my idea.

First of all, one can be a leader in case he or she has a sufficient life and work experience to be able to guide and supervise. Running a business requires a wide range of skills both technical and interpersonal, which can be gained only after having a lot of work in industry. Furthermore, it is clear that young people will not be respected by their peers just because they are smart and have a brilliant education. They need to prove that they can handle all sorts of people and tackle any problem.

In opposition, older people can act as fosterers and tutors. They are respected for passing through fire and water during their lives. They can predict results from any kind of situation; they can forecast any individual’s behavior beforehand, which makes them very mature and confident. Older managers possess all technical aspects of their work and hidden pitfalls. All said above makes them rather irreplaceable, required and relevant for top managers’ positions.

To conclude, I imagine that though youngsters might have fresh and bright ideas that can improve our being, however older and mature managers should take leading positions as they are very balanced with their professional and interpersonal development, and as a result they would be able to use those bright thoughts of younger generation.

Please tell me what score can I get? Thank you!

One more please ))

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Over the decades many people are taking advantage of modern technology so that it brought some negative and positive aspects into their lives such as a lack of a personal interaction or a fastest communication with overseas. This essay will discuss both points of view.
Whatever happens in life has always pros and cons, positives and negatives, benefits and drawbacks.

Advanced technology is not an exception. Firstly, it gives an opportunity to send emails or any type of message in an incredibly fastest way as well as sharing photos, news and information with anyone, anywhere and anytime. No boundaries and limits exist now. On the top of that, what was not accessible or affordable in the past is now available for anyone. For instance, one can buy any type of product or service, gain any knowledge, make new friends, read news about what is happening all over the globe and so much more!
On the other hand, people are losing a track of how real life looks like and what makes true relations exist.

As a result, technological development created new addiction as almost everyone sleeps having mobile in his hand or starting the work checking social network news, people congratulate each other online and when meeting up personally they call it “offline”. Moreover, even meeting up offline they do not talk to each other but spend the time together because their techno-gadgets constantly distract them.

In conclusion, it is obvious that technological development gives many beneficial opportunities together with the less beneficial ones. The availability of so many machines around makes peoples’ hearts machinelike and personal and social interaction carries rather negative connotation.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello Jazira,

First essay ...
First main paragraph - Why 'only'? 'will not be respected' - why?
Second main paragraph - any situation? any behaviour? all technical aspects? irreplaceable?
As you have probably now guessed, I'm going to tell you that this (another!) essay which relies on assertions rather than arguments.

Second essay ...
First main paragraphs - no boundaries and limits? available for anyone?
Second main paragraph - almost everyone? do not talk to each other?
Same as for the first essay.

I hope you can get out of this habit of saying that every single person in the world behaves in exactly the same way!
All the best,
David

[jazira]

Thank you ever so much, David!