Kindly assess my writing task 1

[n0m4n]

The graph compares number of people employed in three different sectors of the economy, in the UK, over a 10-year period, between 2000 and 2010.

Overall, public sector and self-employed employers increased over the period in question, while employment rate in private sector dropped steadily throughout the period.

According to the data, public sector and the self-employed sector show almost similar trends. Starting at 38% in 2000, public sector maintained this rate until 2002. Having risen gradually to 49% until 2005, this then fell gradually to almost 45% in 2006. After that this went up steadily and peaked at 51% in 2010. Employment rate in self-employed sector was just 18% in 2000. This then grew slightly to 20% over next 2 years. After that it dipped slightly in 2003 but again recovered to 20% in 2005. This upward trend then accelerated slightly to 28% until 2007. This figure then went up steadily until 2009, and then leveled off at 30% in 2009 and 2010, respectively.

However, private sector followed opposite trend. Employment rate in private sector was 48% in 2000, which was highest among other sectors, but this experienced a significant fall throughout the period and reached to 20% in 2010, which means it was lowest employment rate as compared to other two sectors.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!
This is a very good report!
A few minor suggestions ...
1. I would have a paragraph for each line.
2. 'rate' means the speed of change. In the summary, change it to 'proportion'
3. THE private/public sector
Well done!
David

[n0m4n]

Thanks David.