Kindly assess my written part.

[vishwa]

Here is an essay and letter kindly assess it and give me your valuable feedback

Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

Zoos are the places where several animals are kept. Some groups of people consider that zoos should be banned in the 21st century as they snatch the freedom of animals. However, I disagree with the given notion because of the benefits zoos provide such as protection of animals, education and entertainment, lastly maintenance of ecological balance.

To begin with, most of the animals these days are gradually losing their natural habitats because of deforestation and natural calamities. So in this cases, zoos prove to be beneficial for animals as they get a safer place to live in. zoos also provide enough place for large animals. Hence, it pertinent to consider zoos should no longer exist. Furthermore, in past few decades, several animals are moving towards extinction because of poaching and illegal trade of animals. For example, in country like India, tigers are being extricated and hence left over tigers are being protected by keeping them in zoos. Consequently, government of India to increase their number has initiated numerous breeding programs.

In addition, zoos act as a huge source of knowledge for children since they can relish the opportunity of watching animals closely. The images of animals which they see in their textbooks can be seen live in the zoos and they can also get entertained. Finally, zoos help in maintaining ecological balance by saving several animals. If animals’ extinction continues without being addressed then in the long run, it disturbs the natural life cycle and ultimately end in dangerous consequences. Therefore, it is not correct to think of a world without zoos.

Taking into consideration all the above points, I believe that zoos should not be banned as they are safe living places for many animals.

Write a letter to the environment officer in your area complaining about the garbage problem in your neighborhood and say
- What is causing the problem?
- Why is it bothering you?
- Suggest a solution to rectify the problem.

Dear Sir,

My name is Vishwa Vinutna, a resident of Square villa colony. I am writing this letter to complain you about litter problem in our neighborhood.

The main problem is rubbish collecting van does not come regularly, because of this, the litter is heavily being deposited on the road. After, two days it produces bad smell that is harmful for us. Moreover, it attracts various insects and microorganisms. Sometimes, in windy atmosphere, garbage is dispersed on the entire lane, which makes the colony untidy.

This situation has worsened when one of my neighbors became sick because of awful atmosphere of colony. I am concerned about the safety of my family members and residents of colony. Hence, I believe this problem should be solved as early as possible.

To address this problem, I suppose that the rubbish should be collected daily or at least on alternate days to prevent the accumulation of waste. As a responsible environmental officer, you have to look into this issue and implement stern rules to avoid these kinds of problems.

I look forward to seeing prompt action from you.

Yours sincerely,
Vishwa Vinutna.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello again, Vishwa!

The first main paragraph is good. An example would make it better. My personal favourite example is the Northern White Rhinoceros. It's strange and sad to know that I have actually seen all six of the last of these rhinos that existed in the world.

The second paragraph starts well. I like the education/entertainment debate. However, you then switch back to animal protection, which is the topic if the first para.

Letter - very good!

All the best,
David