David I really need your opinion on my essay on "Homework is good or bad for school-age children"

[sundas]

In many countries school-age children are spending their free time in doing homework. Is it good or bad thing? What is your opinion? Give example to support your answer.

Education is precursor to success. And to achieve success children should be trained at early age. The teachers can only teach about the topic but to grab its understanding a child has to struggle by himself, which however can be done only by devoting extra time after school on studies. Therefore, I strongly believe in homework. Firstly it teaches us time management. Secondly, it is the vital factor in career growth.I opine that there should be a set timetable for school going children at home too, which must have balance of studies and other extra curricular activities.

Homework develops time-management quality even from undeveloped age if the set timetable has been formed for them. Timetable should be divided equally into studies along with indoor and outdoor activities to balance physical and mental health. This example is going to clarify my view, I have set a timetable even for my kinder-garden child. according to that he spend one hour on homework, one hour on outdoor activities with friend and one hour on cartoon. By setting this routine both of us are quite satisfied and happy.

Secondly, homework is essential for kids to grab the understanding of topic taught in school. To achieve certain target in life homework plays a key role. This habit should be build from young age otherwise later in university level it become very hard to set the routine which is compulsory. Following example will support my point, my brother had a set routine to revise the classwork at home but I had never take it seriously and faced a lot of problem during exams and especially in university. The result is that, he is working in a multinational company and I am still struggling to achieve my goal.

In conclusion, I suggest that homework plays a significant role in career growth and this is a habit which should be developed from early age to avoid hindrance in later life to get your target.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hi Sundas,

Introduction - Why is education a precursor to success? Why do children need to be trained? Teachers can only teach? Children have to struggle? Why can understanding only be achieved through extra work? Why is home work vital in career growth?

First main paragraph - So, the timetable creates time management, not the homework. So, what if you set one hour for homework, but your child needs two?

Second main paragraph - Why is homework essential? Why is homework key in achieving life goals?

So, overall, we have a list of assertions which are supported only by the example of your family. This is not a strong essay. Grammar is quite good, but there is not a wide range, e.g. conditionals.

All the best,
David