Task 1-Letter (reviewer needed with comments)

[paperheart]

One of your friends invited you for a meal with his/her family in their home. Write a letter to your friend and say:
- Thank them and tell what you have enjoyed the most.
- How do you feel about this visit?
- Suggest some arrangements to invite them to your home.

Dear Sara,
How are you and your family? I hope they are all doing well. I am writing this to thank you for the dinner that we had last Saturday. It was one of the memorable family events that I have ever had. In fact, it actually reminded me of my family gathering time back in Gold Coast.

With the decorations from “HomeStyle” magazine and variety of local home cook cuisines, the dinner was indeed wonderful and fascinating. Also, I really enjoyed spending time with your family especially during the board games session. Your little brother, Jacob is a little rascal yet amusing boy that is able to make everyone giggle.

Anyway, I have been planning to invite you and your family to have a meal in my house. My family will be available from 3rd Mar – 9th Mar. Do write back and let me know the availability date from your side so we can proceed to prepare the meal.
I look forward to your response.


Best wishes,
Joel

[durai]

Hi,

I dint understand the question, how can you say what you have enjoyed before visiting house?

[SyntaxFox]

Hi paperheart, thanks for posting. I’ve read your work, and I have a few tips for you.

Corrections are in red, and comments are in blue.

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One of your friends invited you for a meal with his/her family in their home. Write a letter to your friend and say:
- Thank them and tell what you have enjoyed the most.
- How do you feel about this visit?
- Suggest some arrangements to invite them to your home.

Dear Sara,

How are you and your family? I hope they are all doing well. I am writing to (<-- No need for ‘this’.) thank you for the dinner we (<-- No need for ‘that’.) had last Saturday. It was one of the most memorable family events I (<-- No need for ‘that’.) have ever had. In fact, it actually reminded me of my family gatherings back on the Gold Coast. (<-- The grammar was a little awkward here, so I reworded it for you.)

With the decorations from ‘HomeStyle’ (<-- You only need to use double quotation marks – “like this” – if it’s something that someone has said. Otherwise, you can just use single quotes.) magazine and variety of local home-cooked cuisine, the dinner was indeed wonderful and fascinating. Also, I really enjoyed spending time with your family, especially during the board games session. Your little brother Jacob (<-- No need for a comma here.) is a little rascal, yet an amusing boy that makes everyone giggle. (<-- I managed to shorten several words into one here, to improve the flow of your sentence.)

Anyway, I have been planning to invite you and your family to have a meal at my house. My family will be free (<-- I changed this from ‘available’ to avoid repetition with the next sentence.) from 3rd Mar – 9th Mar. Do write back and let me know your availability (<-- This read a little awkwardly.) so we can make preparations. (<-- You wouldn’t start preparing the meal (i.e. cooking it) days in advance! I reworded it to make this clear.)

I look forward to your response.

Best wishes,
Joel

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I have some advice for you. Watch out for unnecessary words! They can affect the flow of your sentences. The surplus words you used most were ‘this’ and ‘that’. In the future, you could watch out for these – every time you’re going to write ‘this’ or ‘that’, try reading the sentence aloud or in your head, missing out the word. If it still makes sense and flows well, you’ll know that you don’t need it!

Keep practising,

SyntaxFox

[SyntaxFox]

Durai - the question said 'One of your friends invited you for a meal', not 'One of your friends has invited you for a meal'. It's a small difference, but the lack of the word 'has' means that the question is asking about a past event rather than a future one.

SyntaxFox

[paperheart]

Thanks SyntaxFox!
Shall keep practising to write better!