Task1-a travel agency

[rairaichan0115]

You returned home from a tour organized by a travel agency. You did not like the tour and write to a newspaper to complain.

Dear Editor,

I am writing to you in order to share my dissatisfaction with this horrible experience. Please allow me to elaborate why I am so perturbed. I just came back my journey from Hong Kong, which organized by HKB agency.

For the brochure which I read closely prior to booking this travel package. It indicated that I would stay in luxurious accommodation that have been a five star hotel along with extravagant diet. Upon arrival, I discovered that the hotel was terrible and it was shabby hostel. The bedsheet did not change every day and occasionally I could find some cockroaches ran around my room. Beyond my tolerance was the awful meal. I had identical food during my five day trip. I would rather have instead noodles than having such disgusting edibles.

In additional, according to the brochure that I would go to several tourism attractions and each sight I would stay for at least half an hour. However, I did not have sufficient time for enjoying the sightseeing as I only could permit to spend around 10 minutes in each spot. I lodged a complaint to the agent, but unfortunately without success. I would like to raise others awareness of the pitfalls.

Thank you for your reading

Yours faithfully,

Jenny Chan

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello again!

1. the bed sheet was not changed ...
2. I found some cockroaches running ...
3. I had identical meals every day during ... (also explain why the food was so bad)
4. according to the brochure, I would go ...
5. tourist attractions
6. I was only permitted to spend ...

Overall, a good letter, but some vocabulary and grammar changes/additions will make it better.
All the best,
David