Thanks in advance, I really need your help. must read and replay me, please

[shubhamsondhi]

The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today.
Without the presence of fossil fuels, our actives lives will become slow. And, the fossil fuel, which is being used in industries, transports, and many other daily usages, is depleting rapidly. Because of low quantity, the prices of fossil fuels are increasing. As fossil fuel have great impact on our economic, the implications of increased price of fossil fuel will dwindle our economic value. As we know change is a part of life and always required for the progress of mankind, therefor the quest for alternative fossil fuel is not only important but also required to save our mankind progress.
Since the existing fossil fuel is depleting, the price of it is increasing rapidly. Once the fossil fuel get vanished, it can create turmoil among people. And, imaging about our economy without the presence of fossil fuel is very blurry thought and fascinating dream which is not true for sure. Because fossil fuel is paramount for economy and fast life style, we either need to save this resource or need to find alternative.
After finding alternatives to fossil fuel, our economy can boom again. Many researchers are looking for alternative methods to make fuel which can replaces existing fossil fuels. For example, recently some researcher are using grinded maize to make oil. After making this oil, they mix some other chemicals which can make the properties of this maize oil similar to existing fossil fuel.
In nutshell, the quest for alternative fossil fuel is very important as the implication can make our lives easy again. Like, it had made after the discovery of present fossil fuel.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!
Let's take a look ...

Introduction - Too long, but not terrible!

First main paragraph - The price of oil has been much higher than it is today. Reserves of coal could last many decades or even over a century.

Second main paragraph - Using plants to create fuel has not been such a success. What about food production? What about the price of food and maize?

Conclusion - Not exactly clear or proven from the preceding essay.

Overall, this essay is too simple. Arguments are not developed and thus become unclear.
All the best,
David

[shubhamsondhi]

thanks sir I will consider it. But I am confuse what need to be developed

[leodibkk]

Hi there,

I have following comments on your post, please correct me if I am wrong

1/ I think it is quite difficult to comment your writing due to the lack of topic question which need to be written on.

2/ Your writing lack focus and proper structure in which I need to see the topic that your are writing about so as to give you further suggestion.

3/I can see that you use some uncommon words which are good, for instance: dwindle, depleting, grinded...

4/ I find you grammar simple and I believe this is one of the reasons that Ryan commented this is a too simple essay