Hi David! can you please check this essay? what score is it worth of? Thank you in advance!!!

[Wayfarer]

In the past people used to live in one house their whole life. Nowadays people live in several different places during their life. What are the reasons for this change? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

While in the past people generally used to gravitate towards tranquility and stability, due to an astounding pace of life today people are no longer reluctant to make significant changes. Most notably, this trend reflected on the frequency people move from place to place. Unlike old days when a family would reside in one house permanently, now people often take up temporary residences. This essay will propose some key factors contributing to this tendency and prove that it is a positive trend.

First of all, people are more inclined to move these days owing to two primary reasons which vary from one individual to another. The most prevalent case is when people are unable to adjust to one place; they feel sorrow and depression unless they totally transform something in their lives. Living in a different district or even a town affords them a great opportunity to start life from the scratch. Second common reason can be conflicting relationships with neighbours. For many people it is imperative to live in a house which has congenial surroundings and where people are considerate of one another. In fact, they hardly ever discover such place from the first go; instead they keep on changing their place of residence until they find it.

Furthermore, although some firmly claim that it is better to maintain a permanent housing, experience shows that shifting a house several times throughout ones life is a more beneficial option. A recent American study has indicated that families, who move into a new house within every ten years, tend to have stronger bonds rather than people living in one place for the rest of their lives. Not to mention the fact that the same families experienced considerable breakthroughs in their jobs. It was inferred that life satisfaction enhances as a result of changing dwellings which in turn catalyzes stronger relationships with other family members alongside with higher productivity in workplace.

Following this look, it is clear-cut that a changing nature of life has led many people to switch their residences during their lifetime. Indeed, people often derive numerous advantages from making such changes.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello again, Wayfarer!

Introduction - Good. Prove?!

First main paragraph - 'two primary reasons which vary'? Not much variation! I accept your two reasons, but I am VERY surprised that you do not consider work/study to be one of the main reasons for moving. It seems to me that this is absolutely the number one reason in most countries!

Second main paragraph - Unclear. If I move home and am satisfied at the new location, why would I move? You say 'inferred', meaning that the reason was not clear.

Overall, I think that you have missed a key point and that the research is insufficiently explained. These factors reduce the overall effect of the essay. I'm going to take a gamble and suggest that this research might be made up to try to make your essay more convincing! As presented, it certainly is!

All the best,
David