task 2 -high salary job (seek band 7) Please asses

[raghadmamd]

It is sometimes said that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Do you agree?

There is no doubt that job choice is affecting our life. We have many factors to be considered to take the decision; one of them is high salary, although some people think it is the only factor. In this essay, I will explore more factors, and will give my opinion.

In my point of view, Job satisfaction, Is the top factor on the list. There is no use of collecting money while you are not feeling satisfied in you daily job. For instance, artists would prefer to get low paid job, as art teachers, other than getting a high job in administrative work.
Another important factor is work environment. It is undeniable that everybody stays at his job almost more than 8 hours per day and being in a stressful job or uncomfortable environment will ultimately affect his whole life. Take doctors, for example, most of their work is over 60 hour per week and full of stress which lead a growing percentage of them will tend to go for a career change in their mid-life.
One more factor, Is this job will help your career prospects and allow you more progress. Some well-paid jobs sometimes will end your career progress. As some of the fresh graduates are looking for any opportunity with a good salary instead of trying hard in their career even they are not paid to gain more experience.
To sum up, Money is not the only concern in job selection. Job satisfaction and ease work environment are to be taken into account equally.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

The main problem is that the ideas are not developed. You don't say why people might not be satisfied or why some jobs might end career progression.

All the best,
David

[raghadmamd]

Thanks a lot, I am really suffering in getting ideas , I hope reading more will help